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Question:i am happly married with three kid and all of a surding my wife behaviour changed something tells me that she is having affair outside

Asked by emekus on 7/22/08 4 Answers»
Brenda Della Casa


Dear Emekus,

You mention that your wife has changed her behavior but don't give us specifics. In what was has she changed? Is she working longer ours, turning her cell phone off, being secretive, withdrawn or causing more arguments and being more critical? What specifically is she doing differently?

Have the two of you been having problems between you or are you dealing with a new set of outside stressors such as a job loss or a family event?

While I am not saying that your wife is not having an affair, I think It's important that you not just assume she is being unfaithful and leave it at that. Sit down and talk with her. Tell her you have noticed that she is no longer acting like herself towards you and that you are concerned there is a third party in your marriage. Pay close attention to how she reacts.

Does she get defensive and angry?

Does she try and shift the topic to something you are doing wrong?

Does she suggest counseling? Note: Even if she doesn't, I would suggest that you both look into it.

Have you suspected her of cheating before and been wrong?

Brenda Della Casa
Author, Cinderella Was a Liar
Link (Blog)

Answered by: Brenda Della Casa on 4/19/09


If you are happily married ,then i would suggest you ask your wife if she feels the same..You say you have 3 children,even though children are a blessing ,they can also be hard for a marriage at times...Maybe your wife is tired,or maybe bored..I would just tell her what you have told us & you might be surprised...Many things could be wrong & have nothing to do with an affair..The best way to find out is ask her....Communication is the key to a happy marriage...

Answered by: slickcut on 8/8/08


I agree with KosherPickles and showing that you care might be what is needed right now.

I read that some people have affairs to get attention and that it can sometimes bring the couple closer together when they realize how close they came to losing each other.

Answered by: VictoriaB on 8/7/08


I hate to say it, but the best way to find out would be to be honest with her. Ask her, and tell her what you are noticing and how you are feeling as a result of her behavior change. Sometimes it can be attributed to hormones and something she may not even realize.
I wish you the best of luck and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it isn't an affair.

Answered by: kosherpickles on 8/4/08
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