Brenda Della Casa

on Improving Relationships
Internationally published author of Cinderella Was a Liar and a columnist for Lifetime and

Favorite Cheer!


What is the belief you personally go to during times of change?

I remind myself that life is a series of events and experiences. I think of the great lessons, friends, jobs, moments and love that have all come from times of change. Life is a developmental process which means that we will need to shed our skin every so often. Our best selves and best lives can only come about if we know when to shed thoughts, ideas, habits and situations that no longer suit us or have run its course. The only thing that truly lasts forever is change.

The best thing about change is…

Change is the key to freedom in many ways. We, as people, have so much control over our own lives. We can change our outlook, our boundaries, our habits and so much else about our situations but I think the idea of having that much control can be terrifying which is why so many people project that fear onto change. The truth is, it’s a gift.

What is the best change you have ever made?

I recognized my own personal power and started to truly believe that my soul knows what is best for me. The more we trust ourselves and take accountability for our actions, reactions, words and outlook, the more our lives begin to blossom.

Advice on Change

Recognize that your life has significance regardless of whether or not you are in a relationship. It has value because it is your life. It does not start once you have entered a relationship, landed the job or lost 10 lbs, it’s happening in real time right now.

Trust that you know what is best for you better than anyone else. If something doesn’t feel authentic or right, it most likely isn’t.

Accept that while you cannot change others, you can change what conversations and situations you engage in and how you act towards and react to others.

Mistakes are lessons in motion and, when used properly, can lead us to enlightenment and closer to our best life. Live, fall, learn and move on towards success.

Know that you are not defined by the projections of others nor must you be defined by who you once were. Every moment is a chance to work towards your own personal best which will create a ripple effect and change your relationships and life for the better.

About Brenda Della Casa

Brenda Della Casa is an internationally published writer, author and casting producer who has spent the last eight years interviewing single, married and divorced men and women for a variety of television shows and articles.

For her book, Cinderella Was a Liar, Brenda interviewed hundreds of single women and nearly 1,000 single, married and coupled men world-wide to find out what men want, what women need and what they both can do to be their best selves, live their best lives and attract their best partner.

Her work and advice has been profiled in a variety of publications and on The Today Show. Brenda is the Luv Lady for Lifetime and an Expert and Columnist for To book an appearance or commission an article, please email

Cinderella Was a Liar


Any woman who's kissed her share of toads will relate to this wise and witty guide to modern love. Cinderella Was a Liar explodes the fairy-tale myths, while offering real-world insights that actually make sense....