Have Better Sex Now!
Within Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, sex is on the same physiological level as food, water and sleep, yet sex frequently gets pushed to the bottom of the to-do list. And you’re not alone—52% of Americans are unsatisfied with their sex lives, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey.
The good news is that your lackluster libido isn’t a life sentence—better sex is just around the corner. During the first 30 days of improving your sex life, you can improve your satisfaction, your connection to your partner and your overall well-being. If you can change your priorities and make a commitment to have better sex, then you’re in for the ride of your life.
Better Sex...with Yourself
Improving your sex life begins with recognizing your needs. “I tell people, if you want to have a better sex life and better intimacy, the first thing is that it’s up to you,” says Lou Paget, a nationally recognized sex expert and author of The Great Lover Playbook: 365 Sexual Tips and Techniques to Keep the Fires Burning All Year Long.
One way to figure out what turns you on is to stay “in touch” with yourself. Betty Dodson, Ph.D., is a sexologist and author of the definitive book on masturbation, Sex For One. Dodson’s word of advice for better sex is to make masturbation a priority.
“I believe the acceptance and practice of masturbation is the foundation for all of human sexual growth,” she says. “Self-sexuality can also provide individuals with a way to explore their body and mind so they can discover what turns them on and what they like.” And once you know what you prefer in the bedroom, you might feel more comfortable telling your partner what you like.
There may be other factors that are holding you back from a better sex life. If you’re concerned that a medical or psychological issue is holding you back from being your sexiest self, seek professional help.
Sex Talk Tips
Your sexual desires will change over time for a variety of reasons, and something that worked at the beginning of your relationship may not float your respective boats any longer.
This rang true for Kathy Markson,* a new mom in her twenties. With a young child at home and her husband at work during the day, she realized that her sex life was in trouble. “My sex drive seemed fine until I realized my husband and I had been living separate lives,” Kathy says. “Then I started feeling pretty resentful. I was stuck at home, and he was still living as if nothing in his world had changed.”