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Question:how long do i keep his stuff? It has been almost a month.

He left on halloween and came back one time to some of his things. I haven't heard from him since and the day he said he was coming to get the rest he did not show. What do i do? How long do i keep his belongings, as they are taking up an entire room in my apartment?

Asked by STONEBULLDOG on 11/22/08 3 Answers»


Hi Stonebulldog,
I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I went on ONE date with this guy and he let me borrow his jacket because I was freezing. He totally flaked and disappeared after that but his ugly jacket is still hanging in my closet. I sent him a text the other day and asked what he wanted me to do with it. He said he was going to come over and pick it up but - Suprise! - I sat around waiting for him for three hours and he never showed up. It's just a stupid jacket, so I can imagine how annoyed you must be with a room full of stuff.

Answered by: runnindownadream on 11/25/08


Dear Stonebulldog:

I feel for you. My boyfriend broke my heart in April and STILL hasn't removed his furniture or the remainder of his stuff.

For me, it was so painful to have his stuff in my home. (I still get his mail too.)

I send a registered letter to his work so that I could prove I gave him sufficient notice; in case it ever came up legally.

I have just recently take stuff to good will and thrown stuff away.

I would give him proper notice (that can be documented) and put the stuff out as Brenda said.

Don't put yourself through 8 months of torture like I did.

Good luck to you.


Answered by: profshell on 11/23/08
Brenda Della Casa


Dear StoneBulldog:
How generous of you to have opened your home as his storage space for the past three weeks. If getting his things and severing ties were truly a priority, you wouldn’t be staring at his personal belongings.

I suggest you pack up his belongings (ridiculous that you would need to do any work, I know) and let him know that you will be putting all of them out on the street or leaving them with your doorman (if you have one) on a particular day. He may rant and rave but the fact is, he left and it’s not your responsibility to hold his things while he carves out his new life. If he has no place to put them, he can rent a storage unit.
Good Luck!

Brenda Della Casa
Author, Cinderella Was a Liar

Answered by: Brenda Della Casa on 11/22/08
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