MJ Acharya

on Breaking Up
Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

Favorite Cheer!


What is the belief you personally go to during times of change?

I strongly believe in Karma. If a change is not self-propelled, I tend to reflect upon my life to put the change into perspective. I try to be a good person and I spend a lot of my time helping others. If/when bad karma comes my way, I stick to the belief that if I remain positive, good karma will be soon to follow. When something positive occurs, I do my best to fully appreciate the event at hand. Personally my life has always fluctuated and rapid change has been my constant companion. Believing that something positive always comes out of a negative event has helped me deal with the changes that have happened in my life. And it will help me handle the inevitable changes that will occur in the future.

The best thing about change is ...

that a person has the choice to embrace it and learn from it. Whether buying a new house or dealing with the death of a loved one, change always brings an opportunity for personal growth. And when a person takes the chance to make a change or deal with an unexpected change, they are choosing to fully live their life as opposed to just going along for the ride.

What is the best change you've ever made?

The best change I’ve ever made is a change to the way I live my life. I once fell into a rut where I started to watch life pass me by instead of going out and truly living it. I decided then and there to take action and live my life to truly appreciate and enjoy each day. Now, even when I have no plans, I drag myself out of the house and make something happen. I often attend sporting events or take road trips by myself. And although doing so may seem very sad and lonely to some people, I always find a way to have a good time. I’ve met some of the most interesting people while hanging out by myself and I’ve never regretted anything I’ve done on my own. It’s empowering to know that no matter what happens, I can always enjoy my own company.

Advice on Change

Take time to grieve: Every person is strong in their
own way, but pretending everything is alright when it
isn't will just prolong the healing process. Crying is
cathartic. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and don't
feel guilty for doing so.

Create a support network: Call your closest friends
and family members. Let them know that you need a
shoulder to lean on and get them involved in your
healing process. Contact them when you feel depressed
or lonely. The knowledge that so many people love you
will help you bounce back even more quickly.

Avoid contact with your ex for awhile: It may be
tempting to call, instant message him or text him, but
doing so will only take you back to square one. While
closure is important, it's necessary to take the time
to understand that the relationship is truly over. You
can meet with your ex to discuss the break up
eventually, but you need to wait until you accept that
it's time to move on. Avoiding contact also includes
avoiding his MySpace or Facebook page.

Change your environment: Move the furniture around in your home. Paint. Buy new sheets and a new bedspread. Get rid of that blanket the two of you used to cuddle under on the couch. Throw all of his stuff in a box so you can't see it. Anything you need to do to exorcise his presence from your home will help to ease your anxiety.

Buy a journal: Write down your feelings of sadness, anger and betrayal. Writing provides a personal outlet for your grief and will assist in quickening the healing process.

About MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya is a freelance copywriter living in Boston, MA. She is the founder of brokenheartedgirl.com and the author of The Breakup Workbook. Her common-sense breakup advice has been featured online at
First30days.com, Examiner.com, Divorce360.com, Boston24.com, ExinTheCity.com. She appears in print -- The Oakland Press, Hour Detroit Magazine, Strut Magazine, Sassy -- and on television shows, such as, Canada AM.

The Breakup Workbook: A Common Sense Guide to Getting Over Your Ex


The Breakup Workbook: A Common Sense Guide to Getting Over Your Ex, is a friendly, yet firm step-by-step guide to healing the broken heart. It features 33 breakup recovery exercises with names like, Unleash Your Evil Thoughts, Deal With His Stuff, and Thr...