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MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

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Melissa Kantor

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LadyReed

Question:Just a week ago I found out that my boyfriend of a year has been cheating on me for a couple months. She had the nerve to call me up and tell me about it. I was so hurt by it that I just told him that i knew all about it and that the relationship was over

Just a week ago I found out that my boyfriend of a year has been cheating on me for a couple months. She had the nerve to call me up and tell me about it. I was so hurt by it that I just told him that i knew all about it and that the relationship was over because i'm not the one he really wants to be with. He told me I was wrong and that it meant nothing to him and it wasnt what I thought but I wasn't trying to hear it. We havent spoken since but I miss him alot and don't know what to do. I think I wanna work it out but I don't know why. I really do care for him and he did apologize but I really just dont know what I should do. Can you help me?? Should he be forgiven?? Can we fix things??

Asked by LadyReed on 10/6/08 3 Answers»
aliciak

Answer:

I would talk through things first, figure out why he cheated (does he have a history of this?), before making a decision to get back together or not. Talk about how it made you feel and that even if you can forgive this one time, you won't be able to in the future. Cheating is never a "good" thing, but sometimes it does make you realize what you had been taking for granted, what/who you really want. It puts things into perspective even if it's a terrible thing to find out about the person you like/love.

Answered by: aliciak on 10/7/08
C_Wachten

Answer:

In no way, shape or form do I believe that cheating is remotely ok or right. However, I do believe in second chances if the situation calls for it. Maybe this is a time to sit down face to face and speak calmly about what happened. Ask him why he did it - and not let him give you the answer of "Oh it didn't mean anything" because to you it does. Sometimes relationships are more complicated than we think and it's up to us to not give up, but to dig deeper and find out what the root of the error was. I'm not saying to go back and I'm not saying to forget - but sometimes forgiving in the right situation is the best thing for everybody. Take a hard look at who you are - like Lady Reed says - you are beautiful...ask yourself if this relationship is worth saving and if it is, work at it.
Good luck!!

Answered by: C_Wachten on 10/6/08
kristen

Answer:

I'm so sorry that happened to you, but I'm so proud of your strength for calling him out and refusing to allow yourself to be disrespected in that way. Look at you! You're gorgeous, and you have a beautiful child to raise. Is this relationship worth saving to you? Is it one you want your baby to be raised within? If so, maybe you can overcome it if this was truly a one-time mistake. Do you think you can trust him? Only you know the answer for sure. If you do decide to let him back in take it slow, and find out the root of the issues you have—maybe even see a relationship counselor. Good luck and let us know how you're doing!

Answered by: kristen on 10/6/08
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