I am so sorry to hear about this. I'm not sure if this helps at all, but I am going through something very similar, where i left for college and had to leave my boyfriend behind. He was also my first love and we were a perfect match. We are also very young (i am almost 19 and he just turned 18). When he broke my heart and told me he couldnt handle a long distance relationship, he assured me that he still cared deeply about me and i was still number 1 in his life and nobody would ever replace me. He assured me that he wanted to stay best friends for a very long time and would never let anybody come between us. Not even a week later, he was dating the one girl he knew would upset the most (she tried to break us up multiple times but he always assured me that he had no interest in her).
The point of this is that i know exactly how it feels when the person you trusted the most and gave your everything to turns against you and becomes the person that you love and hate at the same time. For the past month, i've been trying to stay friends with him, convincing myself that i could not live without him. I eventually realized that what i was really thinking was that by staying friends he would realize how much he missed me and come back to me. It only made me stay more attatched to him, and i got hurt over and over again when i would think my plan was working, but then found out that he still didnt want to be together. About a week ago, i finally decided to cut off all contact and i feel great now. Of course i miss him, but i finally feel like i am able to move on with my life without being set back in any progress i make by a phone call or text message i get from him. And the best part is, every day gets easier. At first, it feels terrible and you never think you'll get through it, but every day you get that much stronger and realize that it is possible to get through this. Of course i'm not over it yet, and i am still very hurt, but i've realized that this pain isnt going to go away in a weeks time, and that time really is the key to moving on. I still have very bad times, mostly right when i wake up in the morning and realize that i have to make it through another day without talking to him while trying to move on with my life, but i allow myself about 30 minutes to an hour to feel as bad as i want, and then the rest of the day is a breeze compared to what i was feeling in the morning.

You can't expect too much out of yourself. Dont expect to feel great instantly when you cut off contact, because it will feel terrible, but over time it will get better. I know i might not be the best person to get advice from, considering that i'm pretty much in the same place you are right now and haven't yet figured out the answers to getting through this, but i hope it helps to know that there is someone else feeling everything that you are feeling at this exact same moment.

I'm reading a book right now called "it's called a breakup because it's broken" by and it has helped tremendously. It is written by people who have been through this exact same thing, and made it out alive and are happier than ever. They don't try to sugarcoat what you're going to go through, or belittle what you're feeling, because the fact of the matter is, it hurts..and its going to keep hurting. Nothing is going to make it better but time, and thats the one thing that i have learned.
I really hope you feel better and know that there are people right here who are going through this or have been through it before and are willing to help with anything or be here if you just need to talk.

Since you sound like you're hurting right now, it might be best to cut back on your contact a little bit. It's so difficult to move on mentally that still talking to him might make it harder. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Definitely look at this as a chance to start anew on whatever path you wish. You'll get through this!

I know this may seem like an absolute low point of your life, but speaking as someone who's made it through the other end, I'd like to encourage you to look at this as a gigantic learning experience. I went through a really nasty break-up at 24 and I too thought I would never find "the one" again. I'm still searching, but some of the personal lessons I learned during about oh, I don't know, the six month post break-up period are some of the most valuable lessons I have in my personal arsenal. This is a time where you will discover a lot about yourself as well as your friends and family members. Keep moving forward, asking questions and enjoying your adventure. Don't feel bad if you still have feelings, just know that time really does help.
Also, if you haven't done this already, go out and splurge a makeover or a spa day. there's something about looking your best that makes you feel like a whole new woman ready to conquer the world and all of the other eligible men in it.

I am so touched by all the answers. Thank you for your kind words and wisdom. I will do my very best to follow them. I am just torn at moment whether to cut him out of my life or keep up the current contact we have. I saw in the tips that we need to cut contact but he still messages me, sends me gifts, and wants to be friends. I am scared on what to do next.....

As Kristen says, you're not alone in the heartbreak department. And if you love again, which I'm sure you will, you may experience it again, but, yes, the first heartbreak and betrayal are the worst--coming off the seemingly endless high of being in love and feeling you've found the one.

I don't think he's a bad person, just probably not as grown up as you would like ... handling a heart is an awesome responsibility, not something every young man is up to, at first.

I also think what you're experiencing is worse because it was not on your terms and it came out of the blue. What you need now is some closure. Why don't you write him a letter, expressing everything that is in your heart and "release him."

Even if you don't send the letter you will feel better for having gotten all those emotions out on paper.

If we had a hug, we'd send it to you.

And now, because I'm such an old movie nut and things like this always pop into my head, I'll leave you with something the wizard said to the tin man in "the wizard of oz" 'hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable' and 'A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others'

Take heart that you friends and family love you and care for you, more than you may know and realize that happiness is wherever you are.

I am so sorry you're going through this. Being in love and having a broken heart seem like the worst thing in the world when you're in the midst of it, and it seems like nothing will ever make it better. And yes, the first is always the worst.

Take heart in the fact that no one (that I know of, anyway) has had their heart broken and not come out the other side. When I was your age, I was very much in love with someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Similarly, I had a chance to move forward while he stayed behind. It seems like a bit of insecurity and lack of faith on your bf's part that he would pull away and start shacking up with some other girl. My gut is that he broke up with you before you could break it off with him—he probably is intimidated by the fact that you're out there, living your life, while he's trying to deal with all his own changes at home.

This time of your life should be about you pursuing your dreams and making the most of each day and the experiences it brings. That may or may not mean dating someone right now. I'd like to encourage you to find strength to stand on your own. Surround yourself with friends and positive energy. Get plugged into community—volunteer, attend religious services if that's important to you. You're so courageous to have made the choice to move halfway around the world...do you really want to spend the time you have there thinking about some guy who didn't respect you enough to be mature and talk to you rather than just walk away?

You are worth so much more than that, even if you don't believe it, I believe it for you. We're always here to help you...please come back and let us know how you're doing.