Sparking Up a New Romance
People have the ability to have a glow if they want to attract someone, the same way New York City cabs have lights that go on to show they’re available,” Slotnick advises. “Hold eye contact a little longer than you’re comfortable with, then look away. Flirt with someone when you’d normally be shy. Just go for it.
Be a Deft Dater
If you meet someone you’re interested in—who is also interested in you, of course—it’s time for the real deal: the date. According to the experts, one of the fastest ways to ensure that your date is memorable is to do something a little out-of-the-ordinary. “Be interesting: Instead of just a requisite dinner and a movie, go to a boat show, a car show or a great outdoor festival,” says Schwartz. “Do something that will have your date saying, ‘Wow, this person can make my life more interesting.
Doing a little mental preparation beforehand is also wise. “You have to prepare for a first date—what you want to talk about and what you don’t want to talk about,” explains Schwartz. “Don’t talk about your ex, your frustrations with your kids, your bad day at work. If you don’t plan what you’re going to say and not say ahead of time, you’re going to go into default mode and talk about negative or inappropriate things because you’ve been talking about them elsewhere. Remember: Complaining is not attractive.
There are a few mistakes you can make while searching for the right relationship, but perhaps the biggest mistake is not knowing when to move on. “Do not go out with someone just to be going out,” says Carol Burk, a 56-year-old retired college professor from Austin. “My friends would say, ‘Just go out with him—you might meet someone else while you’re out.’ But it would have been best for me to just move on when I knew I wasn’t attracted to a person instead of forcing myself to see him again.
While immersed in the dating process, refer back to the list of qualities you are looking for in a significant other and continue to review it along the way. While no one is perfect, some dates just aren’t what you’re looking for, and there’s no sense in wasting time and dragging out a non-relationship. “People jump in too fast—they set parameters and boundaries and then the minute someone pays attention to them, all their wants and wishes go by the wayside,” Spirtas says. “Pay attention to your gut, and don’t be so desirous of a new relationship that you give up on your dreams.