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Wendy Atterberry

Wendy Atterberry

Contributing writer for The Frisky

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Helen Fisher

Helen Fisher

Anthropologist, author and advisor to Chemistry.com

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Amber Dotts

Amber Dotts

Motivational speaker and coach of workshop series "The Three...

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Sparking Up a New Romance

During this time of aesthetic and mental housecleaning, you should start thinking about the person you’re looking for. Instead of storing these ideas in your head, you should write them down on paper and create a composite dream date. “Make lists of the values you want, the style you want and the temperament you want in another person,” says Jackie Black, Ph.D., a relationship coach who serves as Maxim magazine’s relationship expert. “What do you want and expect from a relationship? What do you offer and provide?

However, a big part of finding a new relationship involves letting go of past hurts. Recognize where former relationships went wrong and acknowledge the mistakes that were made; this will prevent you from repeating the same patterns all over again. For instance, if your former significant other was the jealous, possessive type, search for someone a bit more easygoing. As Albert Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Get Out There

You’ve updated your wardrobe, put your finances in order and evaluated your past dating experiences. Now what? If you’re just waiting for “The One” to knock on your door while you watch yet another “Seinfeld” rerun, you’ll probably wind up with a few George Costanzas. “People want a relationship to happen magically, the ‘natural way.’ I don’t even know what that means!” Slotnick says. “You have to spend time searching. I recommend my clients spend 15 hours a week on their search. People gasp and say, ‘How am I going to find that kind of time?’ But think about it: If you’re in a relationship, you spend about that much time with your significant other because you make the time. Do the same thing while you’re looking.

As Natalie discovered, the internet is a great dating resource. According to Alexa.com, a web information company, there are more than 130 matchmaking sites on the web. Think of internet sites as dating shorthand: These resources offer a lot of personal information that date-seekers wouldn’t otherwise know at first glance. “I’m a big advocate of the internet—it’s actually how I found my husband,” says Robyn Spirtas, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship expert. “I think it’s a great way to weed through and find people who are more compatible with you right from the beginning. If you don’t want to date someone who smokes, you may meet someone at the grocery store, but you have no idea if that person smokes. On the internet, you can eliminate people more easily. And it also brings you to so many people you would never have run into.

A lower-tech, but possibly more costly option is a matchmaker service or dating agency, in which a third party hand-selects date participants. Though this may sound like a stodgy, old-world method, high-end matchmakers have become very popular in recent years among busy professionals. Some agencies arrange painless dating events, such as lunch, which allows participants to size each other up during short encounters.

Posted: 10/3/07
VAL3214

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  • By VAL3214
  • on 5/30/20 12:59 PM EST
Roseu5432

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flossglee

I run an entertainment blog and one thing that pisses me off, is the numerous comments I deletes about spell casters and their clients, because I see them as fake. When it comes to love affairs, I give the best advice and I can attest to helping so many.

But I couldn’t help myself when breakup knocked on my door. My 7 year old fun-filled relationship crashed because of disagreement and lies, I was lonely and needed professional help, after trying from all my sources.

I had no choice, but to consider some of the comments on my blog, where I noticed some testifiers are just copying from testimony about Dr. Wakina, that’s when I was convinced that Dr. Wakina is real and reliable.

I emailed him for the professional help through: dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com

Thanks to him for casting a spell, according to our wish, that added positive impact in our new life, I will always appreciate Docs help and approve comments about him.

cunfsedgrl

I want a Boy Friend, but strangely enough, can't seem to find one. Those Fish In The Sea, aren't young enough for me!

osama3333

i want girl friend

barca1

Surprisingly Shared wisdom suggests an opposite approach :)
Link

  • By barca1
  • on 8/23/08 4:31 PM EST