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Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!


Question:How do you get over your first love and move on from the heartbreak?

I am 22 years old and am going through my first real heartbreak and break up. I had been with my boyfriend for 10 months and he was my first real boyfriend, the first person I said l love you, my first "everything". I dated guys before but I felt love was something shouldn't be taken lightly so I waited for what I thought was something real and lasting. My boyfriend was amazing and yes I know we are young but I thought this was someone I could really make things happen with and apparently at one time so did he. Well I had opportunities and plans to move to Sydney Australia (orginally from USA) for 6 months. He knew this when he meet me, yet wanted to make things work and stay together no matter what cause he was so sure I was the one he wanted in his future. Three weeks before I left he started changing and becoming closed off. Two weeks before I left I found out he cheated on me with this girl in our apartment building. We didnt end it there cause he so passionately begged me to work it out. He seemed to be having this break down, and nothing I could do to help or understand. He just started dental school and joined the navy, all these changes so fast. Once I was here in Australia he began sleeping with her. Thats when I ended it with him. Ever since then I have off and on contact with him (I know your not supposed to but I cant seem to truly believe everything that happened, all seems like bad dream). I felt I went to sleep next to my best friend and lover and woke up to my worst nightmare. Its been almost three months since I found out about his cheating ways and am still a mess. My friends are getting annoyed and I still cant seem to let go of what we had. Every guy I dated has cheated on me, but when it came to him I cant seem to get over it like I did before. I know I am young and unexperienced but I am at the lowest I can feel and in need of some solid advice of how to move on. I have all these questions, none of which he can answer or anyone else at that matter and I still feel in shock. I tried to date other people, move on and embrace where I am yet I just miss him more and still feel in love with him or the man he was. He has changed so much. I just dont want to be heartbroken any longer. Is there anyone who can help?

Asked by eluetzow on 9/25/08 10 Answers»


I was in a completion with my husband’s ex, even before we got married, I thought she might stop interfering in our affairs after marriage, but she continued, spreading rumors about my past, calling me names. She vowed to cause breakup to our 2-year-old marriage, because my husband preferred me over her, she was so jealous and decided to consult a priest who caused our breakup on March 17. She was so evil that she don’t even hide her evil acts, after opening up to me that she caused our split, and laugh at me as she tries to take back my husband.
It was a slap on my face and total humiliation, and I demanded justice from spiritual father dr. wakina, after going through testimonies about him on TV and blogs, why I chose him was that he doesn’t cast spell against one’s wish and his spell has positive effects to family growth. My life changed after the spell was done on us and the evil lady flee overnight. Am so exited right, dr. wakina’s spell blessed us beyond measures and I encourage you to contact him via dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com

Answered by: chelnel515 on 10/8/15


Thanks to the internet which has seems to have made everything more easy
and possibilities to come out of difficult issues. At first when my lover
left me and didn't have any idea on how to restore my relationship, But
through the internet i was able to get the details of this powerful spell
caster called Dr.Tamazaki whose details are: dr.tamazaki@gmail.com Whom i
contacted and my broken relationship became restored within 48 hours when my lover came back to me begging..

Answered by: happyhans on 8/19/15


My wife said the first time she was caught making out with a co-worker was that “she was being pushed by the devil”. She fakes business vacations on several occasion just to spend private time alone with her co-worker. She plays her game so tight that I had to employ informant to always track every of her moves. I didn’t believe most of the results, but I have always been suspecting until when I was brought to witness her actions. It was so painful than I was expected. We had serious issues that almost lasted a year and she can’t stop seeing the guy. I thought of divorce, but it might affect our kids and I don’t know any other means to employ that will make her stop. I was recommended to search blogs for spell casters that can help, that’s when I fell in love with comments I read about Dr.Wakina on Link and some testimonies on Link before I was convinced enough to contact him via dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com I didn’t expect much from him, but his presence in my life gave me hope, he did his thing and cast the spell that united our spirit and soul, the spell changed our feelings and thoughts, she no longer have feelings for another man except me for months now, we thinks more about our future together with the kids and we called dr. wakina to thank him as a family, I was blessed and touched for what he is doing. I promised to share this testimony and his email to help save families who are having crisis. Contact him via dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com

Answered by: raymondjer5 on 8/15/15


thank you katie your words helped so much :) thank you!

Answered by: eluetzow on 3/12/09


I am so sorry to hear about this. I'm not sure if this helps at all, but I am going through something very similar, where i left for college and had to leave my boyfriend behind. He was also my first love and we were a perfect match. We are also very young (i am almost 19 and he just turned 18). When he broke my heart and told me he couldnt handle a long distance relationship, he assured me that he still cared deeply about me and i was still number 1 in his life and nobody would ever replace me. He assured me that he wanted to stay best friends for a very long time and would never let anybody come between us. Not even a week later, he was dating the one girl he knew would upset the most (she tried to break us up multiple times but he always assured me that he had no interest in her).
The point of this is that i know exactly how it feels when the person you trusted the most and gave your everything to turns against you and becomes the person that you love and hate at the same time. For the past month, i've been trying to stay friends with him, convincing myself that i could not live without him. I eventually realized that what i was really thinking was that by staying friends he would realize how much he missed me and come back to me. It only made me stay more attatched to him, and i got hurt over and over again when i would think my plan was working, but then found out that he still didnt want to be together. About a week ago, i finally decided to cut off all contact and i feel great now. Of course i miss him, but i finally feel like i am able to move on with my life without being set back in any progress i make by a phone call or text message i get from him. And the best part is, every day gets easier. At first, it feels terrible and you never think you'll get through it, but every day you get that much stronger and realize that it is possible to get through this. Of course i'm not over it yet, and i am still very hurt, but i've realized that this pain isnt going to go away in a weeks time, and that time really is the key to moving on. I still have very bad times, mostly right when i wake up in the morning and realize that i have to make it through another day without talking to him while trying to move on with my life, but i allow myself about 30 minutes to an hour to feel as bad as i want, and then the rest of the day is a breeze compared to what i was feeling in the morning.

You can't expect too much out of yourself. Dont expect to feel great instantly when you cut off contact, because it will feel terrible, but over time it will get better. I know i might not be the best person to get advice from, considering that i'm pretty much in the same place you are right now and haven't yet figured out the answers to getting through this, but i hope it helps to know that there is someone else feeling everything that you are feeling at this exact same moment.

I'm reading a book right now called "it's called a breakup because it's broken" by and it has helped tremendously. It is written by people who have been through this exact same thing, and made it out alive and are happier than ever. They don't try to sugarcoat what you're going to go through, or belittle what you're feeling, because the fact of the matter is, it hurts..and its going to keep hurting. Nothing is going to make it better but time, and thats the one thing that i have learned.
I really hope you feel better and know that there are people right here who are going through this or have been through it before and are willing to help with anything or be here if you just need to talk.

Answered by: KatieQ on 10/14/08


Since you sound like you're hurting right now, it might be best to cut back on your contact a little bit. It's so difficult to move on mentally that still talking to him might make it harder. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Definitely look at this as a chance to start anew on whatever path you wish. You'll get through this!

Answered by: Dairygirl09 on 9/26/08


I know this may seem like an absolute low point of your life, but speaking as someone who's made it through the other end, I'd like to encourage you to look at this as a gigantic learning experience. I went through a really nasty break-up at 24 and I too thought I would never find "the one" again. I'm still searching, but some of the personal lessons I learned during about oh, I don't know, the six month post break-up period are some of the most valuable lessons I have in my personal arsenal. This is a time where you will discover a lot about yourself as well as your friends and family members. Keep moving forward, asking questions and enjoying your adventure. Don't feel bad if you still have feelings, just know that time really does help.
Also, if you haven't done this already, go out and splurge a makeover or a spa day. there's something about looking your best that makes you feel like a whole new woman ready to conquer the world and all of the other eligible men in it.

Answered by: runnindownadream on 9/26/08
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