Let me just start by saying this is a very long detail per I wanted to try and give as much history as possible in order to get the best advice. Thanks

First a little history: My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years. Prior to our relationship, we'd both been in relationships that were very exhausting and left us feeling miserable and depleted most of the time. Him for 16 years to a highschool sweetheart (compatibility issues)and I to my ex-husband for approx. 4 yrs- which was an abusive relationship. We both have children outside of the relationship, me with (3) ages 4, 5 &10 and him with (2) ages 14 & 16. We are both in our early 30's.

We've been extremely compatible from the very beginning, priding ourselves on how well we can communicate and be honest with each other, as well as joke and play and not take things too serious, however, he has been very slow motion from the start. I always attributed his slow pacing to him being in his prior relationship for so long. I knew that he loved me based on how he treated me as well as what he's told me and therefore, I was willing to be patient with him, even though I felt like he should have proposed soon after our first year together and definitely by the second year.

Throughout the relationship there has been many times when I've grown desperately frustrated with him because I felt like we weren't growing or moving forward as we should be. From the very start I was clear that I wanted a relationship that could potentially grow into something much deeper...i.e. Marriage, a partnership. I would ask him how he felt about me, how he views me as a person, what his expectations are of this relationship and what were his intentions with us being together. He would always confirm that he wanted a serious relationship as well, and that he loved me and thought I'd make a great wife, although he wasn't rushing to the alter, but would for me. He admitted that financial strain was the reason why he had not yet proposed, which is totally understandable. We both have goals we need to obtain before we take that leap, but he also admitted that he had some issues with taking on my children full-time and this was the reason why he had not yet asked for me to move in with him or vice versa or find a place together, which would most likely eliminate some of the financial strain we both have. Combining our incomes would benefits us both, we live in NY and its extremely expensive here. The news of him doubting his ability to accept my children was a heartbreaking blow to me because he has children too, however they are much older than mine, and they don't live with him - only visit on the weekends. He was worried about starting over with the whole kid thing.

Well anyway, approximately 1 month after our 2 year anniversary, I recieved a disturbing call from one of my best friends. She called to inform me that my boyfriend had propositioned her!! Yes, he'd called her acting as if he wanted to plan a party of some sort for me, or wanted to do something nice for me, she brushed him off the line and he called her back and sexually propositioned her.

When I confronted him about this incident he did not deny it, he stated that he was way out of his mind and that he would never willingly do anything to hurt me...of course he did the normally begging and pleading...but basically the story was he was sorry and completely inebriated at the time and that was the only reason why it happened. He did confess that he's had impure thoughts of her before, but she wasn't the only one (meaning, baby don't think I just want your friend...I'm just a horny dude and I think of many women that way) which i'm actually fine with. Its when someone acts on those thoughts that I have a problem with it. Especially in his case because I'd already told him on another occasion, my birthday to be exact - months prior- that I did not want him calling my friends for any reason. Honestly I could see where his thought process may have come from...I've thought that I may find one of his friends very actractive and want to do one of them, but I would never act on it...that's the difference.

Anyway, this action on his part was totally unexpected and so out of character for him, or so I thought. I never saw it coming. He's not a party dude, he doesn't hang in the street or go out often. He's never exhibited signs of a cheater.
He's never been abusive to me or tried to harm me, demean me. He's always been so responsible and good natured...always there for me, but just taking his time in making me official. I just couldn't believe this happened.

Well at first I just knew it was over, but of course I couldn't just turn off my feeling just like that. So I tried to forgive him and move on, but I haven't forgotten and most likely won't. I feel deeply affected and growingly insecure. Lately I've been very snappy and unsure of my feelings for him. I did admit that I don't feel in love with him right now, but I know that I do love him....I think....

Right now, I feel a mix of confusion because I was already feeling impatient with him about our progress and now with this I'm like is this a sign that we are going no where fast?? Oh and did I mention that now he's all gun-ho about our relationship and of course we are going to get married and have a happy life......with the kids, no problem.....

So here I am writing all my personal business on the internet hoping someone will get the jist of what I'm trying to express and give me some tangible unbaised advice. Tell me...Am I fooling myself, settling or could this guy possibly be the one? People make mistakes. My friends think I'm just scared to let go...I feel that somewhat too becuase I don't feel there are many good selections left out there, especially to a divorced mother of three in her 30's, and people who have been together for like 30 years had to go thru something, right...not to mention we aren't married yet. But what do you think???????