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Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

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Mike Riley

Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

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Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

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The latest news on this change — carefully culled from the world wide web by our change agents. They do the surfing, so you don't have to!

Break Up, Already!

Break Up, Already!

We're just going to come right out and say it: staying in a bad relationship just because you a) don't want to be alone for the holidays or b) don't want to be the bad guy/gal who dumped someone during the most wonderful time of the year is a waste. Why wait until after the new year (or worse yet, after Valentine's Day) to make a change and move forward? It's not going to be easy, but isn't it better to be free than to be dreading an impending breakup for the next couple of weeks or months?

Here are our top 5 highly unscientific reasons you should break up before January 1st:

1. No gifts to buy. Did you think that maybe the reason you're having such a hard time shopping is that your heart just isn't in it? Rather than give a token gift (or worse, a last minute drugstore buy with no thought in it at all), cut ties and save that cash for someone you really love, like a family member, roommate or yourself.

2. You can skip the trip to his parent's place. Let's face it, there's always some kind of family drama involved in the holiday, and it's usually because you're struggling to maintain your cool in the face of endless questions from your partner's loved ones about your career, living situation or having kids. Free yourself from the burden of traveling to where you don't want to be anyway.

3. You'll lose the nagging guilt. It can't be fun, fa-la-la-ing all over town on the outside and coming home in turmoil over the fact that you're no longer in love with this person. You're not doing yourself or your partner any favors by staying together. Give yourselves the chance to salvage the holidays separately, rather than stay together and be miserable.

4. The chance to kiss someone new. Mistletoe...a midnight countdown...we're not really suggesting that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, but hey—the truth is, a little fun isn't going to hurt you. This is especially true for those whose home fires stopped burning sometime around July 4th weekend. Go out, flirt and remember that you're worth someone who appreciates you in all your glory!

5. You can celebrate all on your own. If you're holding on because you're afraid to be alone during the holidays, think back to the times when you were single and got through Hannukah, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day just fine. You'll be able to do it again! Grab some single pals and hit a party, or just throw on sweats and spend the night in. Being on your own is heaps better than being in a relationship that isn't working for you—and in the grand scheme of things, you're probably not going to remember this as the worst holiday season of your life (that one probably happened around age 8, when you found out Santa wasn't real.)

Have you survived a holiday split? Tell us about your experience.

Posted: 12/2/08

Well, I did it...thought I was going to hold out until New Years, maybe even shortly there after, but I split the beans and I'm on the road to heartache recovery....I'm feeling great and the best part of all was that his response/reaction has been a confirmation that I did the right thing.....Well what are you waiting for....BREAK UP ALREADY!!!!!


This post reminds me of that Curb your Enthusiasm episode when Larry's sister in law's boyfriend (got that?) breaks up with her the day after a family funeral. It's never a good time to break up, so you might as well do it when you feel you need to.


I'm coming up on a singleton holiday season and I can't wait! Since I live out of town I always feel like I have to divide up my time with my family and friends anyway and when I have a boyfriend I'm always worrying if he's comfortable or having a good time. I'm looking forward to the freedom.


One of the best holidays I had was not long after a break up, when I didn't want to be around family (answering questions or deflecting their piteous looks), so I twisted the arm of a friend and we went to Sante Fe, New Mexico where the town was ablaze with bonfires and luminarias.

We had a fabulous meal, decorated our hotel room with some lights we brought with us and spent the next few days touring around ... saw some amazing New Mexico Indian reservations, spent a day at a spa, took a ride to Taos and went to a ski lodge for lunch ... it was perhaps the best antidote for a holiday break up I could have imagined.

Good advice, indeed!