Secrets to Making Change Easier
4. Change Demons: How to Recognize Negative Emotions and Move Past Them
People who move easily through change know that every challenging emotion can be replaced with a positive emotion that will help strengthen their resolve to move through change in a calmer, more optimistic way. The Change Demons—the negative emotions of fear, doubt, impatience, blame, guilt and shame that rear their ugly heads during change—can each be substituted for a brighter emotion.
Replace fear with faith. The next time fear shows up, find your faith—faith in yourself, in spirituality, in Life or in the certainty that this situation will change.
Replace doubt with surrender. During change, it’s natural to doubt. The next time you feel doubtful, trust that things will resolve themselves and become clear.
Replace impatience with endurance. It’s natural to want to charge through change as quickly as possible. But the next time you feel impatient, remember that every change depends on your endurance—your ability to wait for the next phase of your life to progress at its own pace.
Replace blame with honesty. During change, we often look for someone to blame for the pain or stress that we’re experiencing. When you find yourself blaming someone, especially yourself, get radically honest by asking yourself: “What’s the truth?” “What’s really happening?” “What can I do to make it better?”
Replace guilt with forgiveness. People have the ability to feel guilty about anything. The next time you feel guilty, forgive yourself and make your guilt a thing of the past.
Replace shame with honor. The changes you’re experiencing may cause you to feel ashamed of what’s happening in your life. When shame comes up, use it as an opportunity to honor your choices, decisions and mistakes.
5. The Gift of Acceptance: Resisting Change is Not the Answer
Change Optimists know that the quicker they accept change, the less pain and hardship they will feel. When you accept change, it means that you take in your new circumstances without fighting, arguing, explaining or asking, “What if?”