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Question:I have been married for eight years. I get along great with my husband, but I'm just not happy. I think I gave up so much of me when I got married and had kids. Any advise on how to be ok with where and what I have.

Asked by Twomuch on 11/27/08 2 Answers»


What you have is great. There are women want to have your life( married to a great husband and kids). It seems to me you are so focus on your husband and kids but forgot about taking care of yourself. I suggest you start take time for yourself( this will require time management on your part - it want be easy). You have to make yourself happy. Whenever you have time to yourself; give yourself, I called A Me Retreat at your house. Pamper yourself with a soothing bath, with candles, soft music. After put on a rub and seat in a comfy chair do your toes and nails. Trust me this will rejuenivate your self. May have get out and hang out with your friends. Do something for yourself everyday that will make you happy.

Answered by: marah2448 on 12/4/08


Hi, Twomuch

As nurturers and caretakers, women often put their needs, wants and desires to the side as they care for their families and support their husbands. It's natural to feel like your life is not your own, because in many ways your daily routine is so tied to the needs of others and as a mother and wife you're responsible for meeting those needs.

But who meets your needs? Like the saying 'behind every good man is a great woman' who exactly is behind that great woman? No one, right?

You're lucky to get along with your husband and have a relationship that you enjoy. That's not the case with many people who stay in marriages when they are unhappy.

What you need to do is find something that feeds your soul, something that gives you satisfaction and a boost to your self esteem.

Can you put a finger on anything that really ignites your passion? Is there anything you've ever really wanted to do/learn or become that is a possibility for you now with a family? Can you go back to school a nite or two a week (there are some great continuing education classes at most colleges), is there a volunteer opportunity you can try out (it's great for your self esteem). Is there a club or group you'd like to join or start yourself? I'm sure there are other women in the same circumstances who might enjoy a few hours together a week. (like the red hat ladies -- you can make your own mission and make it fun).

Are there things you can do with the children or get the whole family involved? I just read a great article in Reader's Digest called "Raising Kids Who Care" about how five families each did a little thing with their kids when they were young that got them more involved in the community and charity and those children have gone on to become caring and giving people who are respected in the community for how they help and inspire others.

The bottom line is to find something you enjoy that makes you feel good and helps you to feel like you haven't lost anything, but gained some new things in exchange.

It's wonderful that you're grateful

Answered by: springshine on 12/2/08
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