"First 30 Days is so tuned in and resourceful. I am VERY grateful for the daily doses and tips." -Georgina
Read More Testimonials»

Our Improving Relationships Experts

Brenda Della Casa

Brenda Della Casa

Internationally published author of Cinderella Was a Liar...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Sue Blaney

Sue Blaney

Communications expert; empowers parents of teenagers

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Gay Hendricks

Gay Hendricks

Founder of The Hendricks Institute

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Got a Question?

Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

angie805

Question:Should I let the friendship go?

I have been friends with this woman for about 10 years. She has always been a little bit self-centered, and that really showed when I got married. She just didn't seem very happy for me, and even left the reception early. Now I am expecting my first child, and I haven't heard from her at all during the last few months. I am tempted just to forget about her - after all, she's not a very good friend - but I have been a very good friend to her through the years, and I feel sometimes feel the urge to let her know how hurtful she has been. Should I say something to her - or just let it go?

Asked by angie805 on 10/24/08 3 Answers»
lilliede81

Answer:

As person grows, sometimes the relationships she"s formed in past years no longer "fit." You have come to a different place since your marriage. Now, you are growing and changing again, with motherhood soon on the horizon. It sounds like your friend is not relating to the "new" you, and that's o.k. It also appears that she isn't attempting to maintain the friendship. How was it B.M. (before the marriage)? Were you the one who always called her, made the plans, suggestions, etc.? Did that change when you married? If so, she may have not liked the change, and that's o.k., too! You are living your life as you see fit.

Do what feels right in your "gut" as whether or not to let the friendship go. My guess is that you did nothing to cause this.

Soon you will meet other new mothers-to-be, realize you all have much in common, and form new friendships.

Congratulations on the coming birth!! You must really be excited. Let us know how things are, as time goes on.

Answered by: lilliede81 on 10/28/08
dragonfly3b

Answer:

Angie805,
I say live and let live. This "friend" obviously is not interested in maintaining a close friendship. It takes both people, as with any relationship. Live your own life...let it go......Worry is like a rocking chair...gives you something to do.... but doesn't get you anywhere. (Unknown) Be good to you!

Answered by: dragonfly3b on 10/27/08
haifa1235

Answer:

i would recomend for you to tell her and see.
then you will know. if she doesnt care about hurting you then you dont need that kind of a person in your life .you are better off.

Answered by: haifa1235 on 10/27/08
Got an Answer?