"Ariane is the most distinct light and important voice of our time." -Dr. Alvin Jones
Read More Testimonials»

Our Improving Relationships Experts

Brenda Della Casa

Brenda Della Casa

Internationally published author of Cinderella Was a Liar...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Sue Blaney

Sue Blaney

Communications expert; empowers parents of teenagers

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Gay Hendricks

Gay Hendricks

Founder of The Hendricks Institute

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Got a Question?

Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

callmebabes

Question:tell me what to do with my boyfriend now, do i need to stay or go away from him

i've been married for 9 years, separated for 5 years and got divorce after 6 years, but within this, after 1 years i've got boyfriend, and live together for 3 years, but within this 3 years he cheated me 2 times,with different girls and i did not give up until i win his love again although its to pain im always beside him and i did not quit so i win his love again for 2 times,i did this, coz i want to fight our relationship which i did not try to do with my ex husband when he cheated me after 1 year he left, go to UK to join the army, we have 1 and half year long distance relationship, then sweetnest change coz of long distance love, then i found a new boyfriend again, which i thought he's nice but beyond than that he have 4 girlfreinds, i like him and i always miss him, and im afraid to loss him and everytime we argue, then after this argument my heart is soft so i go back to him again, im afraid to loose him and now im trying to fight the relationship again and win his heart, but he dont compromise and did not promise to marry me, he just want girlfriend but he said he can help and make some bussiness with him.

Asked by callmebabes on 5/25/08 2 Answers»
marythomas86

Answer:

I don't mean for this to sound rude...but, DUMP HIM AND DO IT QUICKLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All he is doing is sucking the life out of you, and yes, I speak from personal experience.

Answered by: marythomas86 on 6/3/08
csterling

Answer:

It sounds to me that the best part of the relationship for you is "fighting for his love". Sorry but this says volumns! You should not have to "fight" for anyones love. Love is given freely or not at all. I agree what you have is a very long chain of abusive relationships. Perhaps you need some counciling to find out what attracts and makes you enter into these types of "no win" relationships. If you are really interested in finding a loving and committed relationship you need to begin with making some changes to yourself because you will never change "Him" whoever it is. Do not make the mistake of finding someone with whom you can have a sexual relationship with and then trying to change that person into your ideal, that responsible, loving, caring person you desire, it's just not going to happen!!! I suggest to try not having a relationship for awhile and getting to know yourself and what you want. Sounds like you spend too much time "fighting" and trying to please someone else that you have no idea what you want from a relationship. These types of relationships never last and actually, all most all men get bored with a woman who has no knowledge or strength of character to know who she is. Might be someone they keep on the side but certainly not someone they want as a partner. If this sounds harsh it is. If you act like a dishrag, you will be used to mop up!

Answered by: csterling on 5/28/08
Got an Answer?