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Question:I am going to be a freshman in high school next year and i've been having issues with one of my previous close friends. Should i ignore all that had happened before and start fresh or still hold the negative attitude towards her?

She had let a guy get in betweeen our friendship and im no willing to ignore that fact and just move on like its ok. In addition ,she has said really bad things about me . I know this sounds very childish but i feel as though this has gotten in the way of me being my true self which is why i want to ask you if i shuld leave all the drama behind so that i can start high school fresh or stick with all the negative attitude i have towards her ?

Asked by tachyx33 on 7/16/09 1 Answer»


You're at an exciting transition point in your life! It can also feel pretty confusing, not knowing what parts of the past to keep and what to move on from. It sounds like that's what you're dealing with in terms of this friendship.

If you feel like you can let your hurt feelings go and start fresh with your friend, that is wonderful and very mature. If you're not sure whether you can really let go of your feelings, sometimes it helps to have an honest conversation with your friend about how you felt, and tell her that you'd like to still be friends. She may or may not be receptive to the feedback, but a lot of times people don't even know the impact they've had.

On the other hand, starting high school can bring up feelings like wanting to step into who you are in a different way than you have in the past. If you feel like you have outgrown this friend (which is very normal, especially if you feel she's acting in ways you don't want to), then it's also okay to decide to let the friendship go. You never know, after a few years, she may grow up some more and become a good friend of yours again.

Best of luck with your transition!

Answered by: jbrstrategies on 7/23/09
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