"I shared your book and web site with several of my book clubs, blog groups and friends; I think it is great to share. I hope your book becomes very successful!" -Susana
Read More Testimonials»

Our Improving Relationships Experts

Brenda Della Casa

Brenda Della Casa

Internationally published author of Cinderella Was a Liar...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Sue Blaney

Sue Blaney

Communications expert; empowers parents of teenagers

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Gay Hendricks

Gay Hendricks

Founder of The Hendricks Institute

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Got a Question?


If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!


Question:How do i trust my long distance Fiance

We´ave been together for almost 3 years now and been engaged since Jan 2007.We love each other and are planning to get married as soon as i get my "green card" to join him in the US.
Because we are living in different parts of the world, sometimes i get insecure . How do i trust him?

Asked by yaanaa on 1/11/09 4 Answers»



My name is veart(single). I was impressed when i saw your profile today at and i will like to establish a long lasting relationship with you. In addition,i will like you to reply me through this my private e-mail box(veartwani@ymail.com)
waiting to hear from you soon.
I will send to you my pictures in my next mail through this my mail box


Answered by: veartwani on 3/13/13


I advise, long distance relationship does not work. If you have doubts with trust,then you really do not have a future with this person. If you intuition is feeling something is not right that is probably what it is. I you have been engage since 2007 and not married yet. I'm sorry this man is just saying what he want you to here. This man is not going to marry you. If you in another country, he is definitely with somebody else. This may not be the answer you want, here is reality. Ask yourself do you honestly believe this man in another country is in love with you, if so, please rethink your situation with this man. If you are using to get into the another country for the wrong reason: GOD does not like ugly. Above all find someone that is local because are going to get hurt.

Answered by: marah2448 on 2/24/09


Hi Gracewithfire,

Thank you so much for your reply to my question. You really made me remember how loved, respected and trusted he is in all other aspects of life!

I do agree with your with theory, i.e, my insecurity having nothing to with him. (It´s about me).

I feel insecure because, I´ave been cheated on before and I fear that history might repeat itself. Well, if the worst should happen, there won´t be much to do than give it my my best to get over it/him.
Truely, I would rather give it all I´ave got, (NOW) than sabotage it by resigning to my unjustified thoughts.

Answered by: yaanaa on 1/14/09


Is he a trustworthy man in other areas of his life? Do other people respect him, trust him, depend on him? That should be a good first clue...

You also have to work on your insecurities; that is something no one else can do for you. What are you insecure about? Why? What would you do if the worst happened anyway?

Ultimately, trust is something you CHOOSE to give or not give. If you choose to trust (after careful and prayerful discernment and evaluation), give it all you've got, and do not sabotage it by giving in to anxiety and doubt.

Answered by: gracewithfire on 1/13/09
Got an Answer?