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Question:does having more money give you more happiness? i am 36, 13 yaers of marriage, a girl of 11 and a boy of 7. how can i feel so empty inside when everything is fine, we do not have financial problems or health problems, but today i feel i am not the priorit

does having more money give you more happiness? i am 36, 13 yaers of marriage, a girl of 11 and a boy of 7. how can i feel so empty inside when everything is fine, we do not have financial problems or health problems, but today i feel i am not the priority of my husband, i do not feel as in love as i was 10 years ago, how can i learn to cope to the changes, do i accept them as they come or can i change him to how i want him to be. i want romance, seduction, flirt, good sex, i want to feel admired, noticed, valued.... which is the answer?

Asked by mariainoero on 6/8/08 5 Answers»


I would have to say. Having more money does give you some happiness but not true happiness. I honestly feel that you should just talk to your husband about how you feel and see if he understand you or if he noticed it himself. I know sometimes when we've been married for a long time some men tends to forget that love that you both shared when you both just got married. Marriage is hard and it's never easy. Don't give up and compromise your true feelings. If your husband loves you he'll make some time for the both of you alone. I'm sure you'll find a way to rekindle that flame again. There's a reason why you guys got together in the first place. Sometimes men just need to be reminded. :) Best wishes!

Answered by: Truthhurts on 6/22/08


Print out what you just wrote and give it to your husband. You should be telling him this, not us! He is, ideally, supposed to be your best friend and confidant :-) I learned a lot of things from my first marriage and the most important lesson is that you have to work hard to keep yourselves together. Don't turn inward or shut down because you are, effectively, emotionally leaving the relationship. You both deserve better.....to be happy. And your children deserve to be raised in a happy home so that they can grow up and make happy families of their own!

Having money means nothing if you're not happy. Be thankful for your financial stability. Use some of that money to reinvent yourself and buy some relationship-building weekends away with your husband. In my opinion, Americans work hard and forget the value of family.

Find your truth. Find your happy.

Answered by: JenJen on 6/22/08


One of the blaring details I have accepted in my marriage is the element of change. Not just in finances or expected roles or even the amount of time that is spent with each other, but in the change in myself. I remember dreaming of having 12 kids one day. Seven years later I feel four is too many. I wanted to raise my family in a small mountain town...now I wish to return to the beaches and warm weather of my homeland. I wanted to feel a bit like Scarlett O'Hara everyday...now just being Olivia is enough of a challenge! Personal change is a point I feel we lose sight of. We ourselves are growing and become metamorphic often times without any acknowledgement. What we would like to intend, we must first strive to become. I undergo even as I am writing the compulsion that I deserve better from my spouse. Instantly the thought also occurs, does he deserve better from me? Too much talk accomplishes little. Giving avails much. Love yourself more, and as you do the changes will envelope those around you and you will feel that love being returned. Do not look for the instant fixes. It took time for you to get to the point of asking this question; it will take as much effort and energy to feel good about being where you are and will be.

Answered by: OliviaShaw on 6/11/08


I agree with kristinapinner. If you want things to be like they were or at least different from what they are now, you need to communicate that.
Find some time alone with your husband ... go for a ride, take a walk, do something together that will make you feel young again and talk about how you would like your relationship to grow and change now.

It sounds like you have an opportunity to start a new chapter in your lives. With children past the constant care stage you can perhaps do more as a family together to bring you all closer and you can also do things with your husband without the children along.

Find a caring relative who will help you with some time off so you don't have to worry about your children's needs not be taken care of. Maybe even plan a romantic weekend together ... but make it known that is what you are doing or you will end up being disappointed. Setting the proper expectations can be very important in all relationships.

You need to understand if you husband wants the same things you do ... chances are he does. He just needs to know you do and that you can give yourselves permission to rekindle your love and affection for each other.

Answered by: bstarr on 6/10/08


only you can answer that. is the marriage worth saving to you? have you talked to him about your feelings? i would suggest talking to your husband about the way you feel and ask him if he feels differently. money don't buy happiness and love is important i think. money provides security and comfort and luxury but not love. rekindling love, romance, and all the intimate things in a relationship can be done if both parties are willing to participate and it could be that your husband just lost sight of the littler things and it is something he would like to rekindle as well as you. ;et me know what happens.

Answered by: kristinapinner on 6/9/08
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