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Question:How to remember an anniversary?

My aunt (my best friend) died almost one year ago.

She was only 11 years older than me. At 52, she died of lung cancer.

The last few weeks were very difficult and I stayed at the hospital with her for the final week.

I was the last person she ever was able to say a word to: at 3:00 am, one morning, she told me her back hurt and she never said another word after that.

I was there Thanksgiving Day.

She had 2 kids and 10 granchildren and we orchestrated Christmas in the hospice hospital room. (Before she got so bad, we had done most of the shopping and had a gift for each child they could keep forever.) She hadn't opened her eyes in days.

I talked to her while each child opened their present and told them "Grandmom" could hear them. After the presents were opened. she opened her eyes one last time and I was able to have each of her kids and all 10 kids give her a hug and say they loved her. She couldn't talk; but she could hear and she saw them.

She never opened her eyes after that. She died on November 28, 2007.

I feel the need to do something special next Friday but can't seem to figure out "that" is.

I love you Aunt El.

Asked by profshell on 11/23/08 3 Answers»


I love the idea of sending a balloon up into the heavens. I know a family who spread their father's ashes in the ocean and each year they return to the same beach for a little prayer before going off to have a meal together.

Some little tradition that keeps the family together sounds like a lovely way to remember someone. Especially someone who seems to have had a strong family connection.

Much love to you and your family.

Answered by: VictoriaB on 12/10/08


Thank you for your answer.
We had a rembrance dinner and I bought a gold balloon (got the idea from Hospice). We all signed it, said a prayer and sent it up to heaven.

I did shopping for my Christmas adopted family.

Thanks for the volunteermatch idea.

Answered by: profshell on 12/4/08


I'm so sorry for your loss, and it sounds like it got really hard towards the end for you. You sound like an amazingly thoughtful and empathetic person, so my suggestion to you would be to do some volunteer work at a local hospital and volunteer to cheer up others who are sick and suffering. While you're doing that, be mindful that you're doing this in memory of the aunt you loved so much. VolunteerMatch.com and Idealist.com are good sites that offer volunteer opportunities in your area.

Answered by: LMAYO9 on 12/1/08
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