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Question:I dont know how to get thru this period of my life there are to many changes at once

Ive been in an abusive relationship of 17 yrs. Did hair 26 yrs had a hip replacement leaving me unable to stand for an hr the paiin is iunbarable and it left me with major back problems to add I am losing my house also. I cant see the lite at the end of the tunnel.

Asked by kimbrigid on 5/4/08 7 Answers»


Hi! kim, I am sorry about you living in an abusive relationship. I have been in two It drains all of your positive energy. My first was with a man that beat me up against walls take my baby and lock her in a room and dare me to enter, I was a fighter when it came to my child. I got away from him without one of us dying I wouldn't date for a long time. Then I got with another man he didn't beat me but the mental abuse was worse then being beat. I finally got strong enough to get out. I joined a support group that helped with domestic viloence called the YWCA Resolve Family abuse. I don't know what state you are in but here is the number for charleston WV 1(304) 340-3549 they can get you a number for what state you are from. I know they helped me alot. I also have a chonic Illness that I couldn't work for almost a year because I was in the hospital 8 months out of the 12 I had two children I was trying to raise.I cryed all the time because I didn't know how I was going to keep a roof over their heads or food on the table. I just finally told GOD I could'nt do this on my own anymore. That whole year I never done without anything. I got in church. He sent me alt of great angel's. I know when fear sets in it is hard to see things being any different . He will help you thru, and if you need someone to talk to I am a good listern. May God Bless you and get you thru this tough time, I know he can just have a little faith. all you have to have it as little as a mustard seed.

Answered by: carefree on 5/27/08


I wish i knew how to get through the changes. I too have had so many in the last 2 years. And when I think I'm through them something else hits where I feel I can't get through one more day. I have a 8 year old, the only reason I get up in the mornings. But I fear I'm not really doing him any favors being so miserable and depressed. WHere do you go when you have no friends or family, no support system? I've been to a psychiatrist and I feel t he medicine only makes me more anxious. I admire the people who say give it to God...I wish I knew how. Never having grown up in a religious family, I've attended various churches, prayed, etc...but it just doesn't seem to come to me. Wishing I knew how doesn't seem to mkae it so.

Answered by: lindahopsing on 5/27/08


First you should never lost hope because things will always get better, I know that may be hard to believe at this moment but they will, I have been through mant heart aches in life and have overcome them you just have to believe ib your heart that things will get better.

Answered by: bella525 on 5/27/08


Hi Kim
First let me offer you my hearfelt sympathy for what you are going through. At 75 yrs. of ae I have been in the center of times like what you are going through and my being here to answer is proof that somehow we cope. To glibly say that and wish you good luck would be of little help so let me tell you what I find helps. acknowledge what has happened and allow yourself to expect that something good is not far ahead because it will never cease to amaze me how true that always winds up being.
Life is an adventure and many times we get so involved in the battle we fail to see the gain. No experience ends without making us better in some way. It often can be compared to taking a trip. No matter how prepared we seem to be there is always a chance that something we never allowed to cross our minds could suddenly change everything. Tha is when we have to stop, take a deep breath and restratigize. No matter what we go about doing we never fail until we stop trying.
If you believe in the power of prayer then be assured that I have added you to my prayer list and I will hold you up before his eyes daily.
Ralph Arbitelle

Answered by: Sam1Sonny on 5/23/08


Just like andiedee69 said, you just have to get through it one day at a time, one hour at a time, and sometimes-- one minute at a time. I would recommend asking your doctor to send you to a pain specialist if the pain is that bad. I see a pain specialist now, and he really helps me a lot! At least with the pain. Not so much with the depression, but at least helping with the pain DOES help. I am one of your cheerleaders, and I hope you have a good day!

Answered by: pathseeker on 5/23/08


I am going to tell you the same thing I have said on a few of these other sites. I will be a very young 60 this Wednesday. I have gone through many life changes in my life, divorce, lost homes, pressure of raising children, my own addictions - in recovery for many years now - and watching my own children go through their live paths. I too have learned how to live and let go and let God. The feeling of fear is no stranger to me, but I am a survivor and a fighter. I have recently become unemployed in March after 10 years with the same company as a photographer and lab manager. I am being retrained with funding through career center and government grants and loans. I believe there may be grant money to help people loosing their homes or check out other non-profits who are trying to keep people in there homes - there is help out their but you have to find it, it does not come knocking. If you have accessed these resources and still find that you need to move then I pray you will find a nice place you want to be in body and spirit. I was once in an abusive relationship, but being a fighter, which only help escalate it, got me out of it quicker, but it was enough to know the power of such a devastating relationship which kills the spirit. Since you have so much on your plate and are feeling overwhelmed it could be that you may still be suffering from the affects of that abuse. Counseling, which you can get for free, might be helpful.

Answered by: csterling on 5/18/08


I spent years of my life, years and years, depressed, anxious, having panic attacks, being afraid of losing what I had, even when I had nothing. As silly or trite as it may sound, I believe that the best remedy that we ourselves can do is to keep things in a list. Write it down, or chant it in your head, make it into a silly song. BUT, remember to share this list with anyone and everyone. A doctor is always the place to start, or his nurse. On a routine visit when the blood pressure girl asked how I was today, I replied that I was suicidal, homicidal and all the other cidals she could think of, I didn't know how I would move on. Before the end of the visit (with an extraordinary short waiting period), I was given the first prescription to try. Some of us need this for a long time, some just to get over the hump. Within a few days of beginning meds, go to the bank - if there is anyway they can help, they will. If not, tell yourself that change is always good and list the house for sale. Put it on Craig's list first, you may not sell it there but people have and it does give you the opportunity to see what else is going on in your area. There are plenty of 'we buy ugly houses' companies around. Talk to people on the checkout line, face to face. Most people have things they are dying to say out loud. Mine is that my son died on February 29th. He was an addict.
That is probably what did him in. He dropped down dead like a puppet in the house with my husband and I right there. He put his whole family through 15 years of hard times on planet earth, but, we loved him anyway and tried very very hard right up to the last seconds of his life to save him. We cry and cry and miss the goodness of him every day. We talk about him everyday and laugh over some of his most horrible adventures, then cry again. That is how you should start too. Talk about the hard times to strangers, like I am to you. As my old granny used to say, 'Misery loves company, and so do strangers.' Take your changes one at a time. Begin with the small stuff. Clean out the kitchen junk drawer since you won't need all that when you move to a nice little apartment.

Answered by: amay102843 on 5/6/08
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