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Inner Beliefs Are Holding You Hostage

Inner Beliefs Are Holding You Hostage

When life turns out differently than planned, look closely at your inner beliefs. While these ideas about the way things are or should be are a strong part of your identity, they’re not always accurate. Rather than letting them hold you back, work to redefine them—and yourself in the process.

When a change occurs, ask yourself what belief is being triggered. For example, if you’re devastated at getting laid off at 29, you may discover the underlying belief, successful people have houses by 30. Or if your daughter announces that she’s not going to college, your belief, people who don’t go to college are failures, may suddenly come to the surface.

Once you recognize these beliefs, try flipping them and see how it feels. Tell yourself, I’ll have a house when the time is right or, she’ll go to college if and when she’s ready. Changing your identity isn’t easy, but if you can see it as an opportunity to explore the next phase of yourself, you’ll find your way to acceptance.



**Countdown: One More Day…

And, by the way, we're counting down one more day to a big First30Days event. Tomorrow is the release day for the paperback edition of Ariane's book, The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier. More to come….

Posted: 5/11/09
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I agree that our own negative assumptions or beliefs hold us back, and it's important to look inward and examine and question that thinking, but raising children is an entirely different responsibility. As parents, we need to balance allowing our children to find their own way, and encouraging them to make choices we know to be wise. Unsupervised and unguided, many children would drop out of high school, drink and drive, have all-night parties, etc. Guidance is a parental responsibility when our children are still CHILDREN.