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Parents Giveth, Parents Can Taketh Away

Parents Giveth, Parents Can Taketh Away

If your kids fight you tooth and nail about bedtime, cleaning up after themselves and doing simple household chores, rest assured, they’re totally normal. Like adults, kids want to do what they want to do.

Unless there’s something in it for them.

Not that you should start showering them with lavish gifts every time they clean their rooms, but think about their favorite activities—watching TV, playing video games, using cell phones and so on. These are privileges, not rights. Instead of handing them to your kids, make it an even trade.

Parenting experts like Dr. Phil recommend setting up a system where kids earn privileges by meeting basic expectations—i.e., putting clothes away, finishing homework, getting to school on time, whatever. They won’t like it at first, but in the end, they’ll gain a healthier perspective on the give-and-take nature of reality.

They’ll argue that it’s bribery, but stay strong.

Posted: 3/22/09
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I am a dog trainer and one of the things that I advocate is a Nothing in LIfe is Free approach in training. Dogs learn to earn all the good things in life (food, petting, getting the leash put on for walks, having the toy thrown for them, etc) by offering something simple like a sit, down, eye contact or any behavior that serves to build calm mannerly behavior. It's a win-win for everyone. The dogs get the things they want, and we get the kind of behavior we like. And all this comes without force, intimidation, and domination. It works with all species. Thanks for the reminder.


When you love your children you want them to have a better life than you had. That , however, does not mean giving them everything they want especially to the point of major excess. I was divorced from my husband after our son died and since there had never been divorce in our family I felt GUILTY! I wanted my daughter to avoid all the pitfalls I had and instead it seemed she had all of them plus more. I was busy working full-tilme as a nurse on 12 hrs. a day. My mother was home with us until we were in Middle School. My ex husband could always give her more financially and I felt like a failure there because the style of life was so much lower. I say all this to tell someone that none of this matters in the life of your child. What really matters is spiritual leading and time around other Christian friends, and especially time and special moments as well everyday things with your children. Be so thankful that you were given them to train up. There's a saying that goes:There are 2 things you can give your children: 1 is roots, the other wings. If you train your child the way you should and remember ;you are their mother and not their friend especially in the formative years, your children will be good adults.

  • By Reborn
  • on 3/23/09 2:27 AM EST