"I want you to know that I love your website. It is so informative and easy to read. It is one of the best I have ever come across-so bright and cheerful." -Mary
Read More Testimonials»

Our Being Happier Experts

Michael Anthony

Michael Anthony

Teacher and author of How to be Happy and Have Fun Changing...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Tim Ferriss

Tim Ferriss

Entrepreneur and best-selling author of The 4-Hour Workweek

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
M.J. Ryan

M.J. Ryan

Creator of the Random Acts of Kindness series

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our New Directions Experts»

Got a Question?


If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!


Question:How do I make new friends who really want me to succeed in life? How can I tell who is really a good friend?

I am a 45 year old woman going through my second divorce. My first husband (of 18 years) took care of all the financial matters, so when we divorced I had to learn how to do all of that myself, but I am really not very adept financially. I have a good job, but don't make enough to meet my bills; I feel pretty much alone, and often quite fearful for my future. I am finding that the friends I thought I had are really not that friendly (or supportive), and I am uncertain about making new friends. However, I really need some sort of moral support, but at my age I honestly do not know how to meet people anymore. My question is, how do I gather support from people who want me to succeed? How do I go about finding new, honest-to-goodness friends?

Asked by SandraDalessandro on 12/6/08 4 Answers»


Hello, Sandra,
it seems you feel yourself a little bit weak or, may be, disorientated. Be sure you are mistaken. If you are not very good at finance, that's not a point. You may be VERY good at understanding beauty and nature (or smth else). Start taking about this to your friends - don't be afraid. And enjoy how it all will change around you. You're not at a bad condition, are you? Start practising your own strength. Let your friends get help from you. And you will find what you're looking for! Good luck!

Answered by: irenek on 1/10/09


Hello Sandra,
I've found that real friends are usually always there to listen. They usually say things about tough situations that are reminisant of what you might very well say to 1 of your own friends.

Your first step here of posting a question and your honesty will help emensely. Keep asking and you'll find a few good friends. Being a friend to others works as well! Take care.

Answered by: celtic555 on 12/27/08


Take stock of what your outside interests are or what you like to do in the community, or would like to do. Join things and you're likely to find like-minded people. You could also look into meetup.com and find groups that way.

Answered by: aliciak on 12/23/08


Ask and ye shall receive. I've found that during the toughest times in my life, I've had angels/friends show up at just the right moment. They come through a combination of cosmic energy and a bit of honest effort on my behalf. I met one of my best friends because I joined a soccer team to become more active, and I met a lot of great ladies after I joined a support group at a local women's center after a really bad break up. It's all about putting yourself out there and being completely honest with yourself and others about what it is that you need. You can start by trying to find a support group at a local church or women's center.

Answered by: alegria on 12/18/08
Got an Answer?