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If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!


Question:How can a person change to be more positive and not so selfish?

Asked by malibu on 9/4/08 5 Answers»


Being selfish isn't necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. What's bad is being selfish to the detriment of others. To some people that may sound a little strange, but taking care of yourself helps you take care of others. True, ignoring your spouse or significant others feelings just because you want to do something is wrong, but taking an hour for relaxation or meditation when you are super stressed isn't. I have found that in helping myself I have actually become better in helping others. Destressing helps me take better care of my 2 year old daughter, husband and parents. And let me tell you, living in the same house as my parents can bring on plenty of stress (but in this economy, what can you do?). Do something for yourself every day, be it 15 minutes of an enjoyable activity or just enjoying your shower without thinking about anything else. You'll be more positive and less likely to choose to do unhealthy selfish things.

Answered by: akashagermaine on 11/2/08


selfishnes is human nature, we all have that in ourselves. i also belive sometimes selfishnes is driven by fear. fear of cannot have/get what we want.

i personaly try to reduce my selfishnes by counting my blessing and write my gratitude in my journal before bed, and also work on some voluntary programs. it always feel good to give. and i also try to tell myself to let everything flow, and just let go. if something is meant for me, i know it'll come to me.

hope that helps.

Answered by: inayah on 11/1/08


I've never considered myself a selfish person, but I do have a tendency to only do the things I want to do : ) but what I find has added so much to my life is volunteering.

Since I was a kid and pitched in at my first Earth Day to help clean up a little park in my neighborhood, I have found the idea of giving my time to causes I believe in to be the best way to get outside of myself and, ultimately it adds to my sense of happiness because not only do I feel good when I doing good for others, but it gets me to a place where I get to meet new people.

Depending on what kind of volunteer assignment you find for yourself, you can also become aware of how lucky you are to have what you have and that gratitude can have a very positive affect on you.

Answered by: VictoriaB on 9/5/08


Honestly, it's not that easy. We are all selfish creatures by nature. The good news is that we can change, and I congratulate you for wanting to change!

Try putting an affirmation on your mirror or in your closet-"I am a giving person who loves to help others." Pretty soon you won't just be saying it, you'll be doing it!

Answered by: Kiki76 on 9/5/08


If you want to be less selfish, try finding ways to be more giving. Spend more time with your family, help an old lady across the street, volunteer with a local group or donate money to a charity. When you do something good for somebody else, you'll feel much less selfish and much more grateful for what you have. And that positive feeling you're looking for? It won't be too far behind!

Answered by: Lizzie314 on 9/4/08
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