Snif, the radio works, YES! Einstein said life is in the details. It's not the climb up the mountain that gets me, it's the pebble in my shoe.
You already have the key in your pocket, living in the present moment (with the accent on 'present', as in gift). A baseball coach taught me, when I'm in the moment I see the ball better.
Before I got a car (w/o radio) I had to ride a bike everywhere and there was one big hill that, it was just a question of how far I'd get before dismounting to walk.....until the day that, for whatever reason, I found myself pedaling and looking down at the road directly in front of my tire, instead of at the crest of the hill, and before I knew it I was at the top.
Something happens, I don't like it so I toss it in the 'bad' box, but THIS I like, so it goes in the 'good' box. So, if I'm the one who chooses, why is the 'bad' box so full??
I did some stuff back in the '60's and as a result, my liver is much older than the rest of me. The only treatment would probably lay me up for the better part of I year. I can't afford that so, at a Dr.'s suggestion I am watching as many funny movies as I can find, listening to old Bob and Ray recordings (free, on-line) and trust the Great Physician to heal me. Solomon said laughter is medicine to the bones.
Finally, a dear friend once told me, "The angels who attend the throne of God long to be human". How could they? They've got it all, they're with God. They don't have bodies. They do not possess the gift of human touch. Try massaging your husband's head for 3 minutes. I'll bet you will feel better (as long as you keep your mind connected to your hands).

If you have a friend or family member close by, ask if they can help for a few hours or a half a day so you can get some rest or excersise. I used to never "ask" for help...But did you know that most people would love to help? But we have to ask! And sometimes it's hard to get the courage up to ask. But it's easy once you try!

A church or social group may also help. Just being around other people who are in similiar situations and talking or using as a sound board helps to! Don't give up whatever you do! Someone always cares about you and you are very blessed to have your hubby of 15 years! I thought VBianchini- gave some great advice. I've been working on myself a little more to lately and it is NOT a selfish thing! By eating better and getting exersise, EVEN when you feel you are SO tired you couldn't possibly put those sneakers on and take a walk... It will help you be more focused. You might even take hubby with you in his chair and take him out for a nice stroll! It will get you both out of the house and back to nature for a quick refresher. My advice may not be very good...But I wanted you to know that I care about you and your situation and I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you find a job soon and remember this..."Life is a school and you will always be enrolled in a class. Choose the courses you want to take and you will love the lessons more so!"
Big HUG to you today! Keep up your reaching out to others and good luck for your job hunt. You'll find one I just know!!!

Hi, Sniffers

I'm sorry to hear about your current situation. One the one hand it's good to have walked away from a horrible job. That can really weigh you down. On the other hand you now have the weight of no job on you.

One of the many principles Ariane shares on this site and in her book is the idea that from this change something good will come. I'm sure you're trying to see the positive and being able to get all those little things done and take care of your husband is at least one small thing you can be happy about.

You do need to sit down at some point though and make a plan. Think about all the people you know and places you've worked and who might be able to connect you to a source of income. Can you take odd jobs until you get something permanent -- maybe a temp firm -- maybe a retail job. Then again, think about what would really make you happy and see if you can't start sowing the seeds for getting yourself there. Again, it's sometimes helpful to network.

Reach out to as many people as you can and ask them all to keep their eyes and ears open for you.

Surround yourself with supportive people.

Ask for help when and where you can.

Take care of yourself. Ariane uses the acronmym SEED for
Sleep -- get the proper amount of rest
Eat -- eat the right foods (high in fiber, low in fat)
Exercise -- get as much physical activity as you can manage for your health
Drink -- drink plenty of water to keep hydrated and keep your body energized.

Remember that you are stronger and more resilient than you know and that there are more people who care for you and are pulling for you than you can imagine. Including now me and all of us at First30Days.