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Brenda Della Casa

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Sue Blaney

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Gay Hendricks

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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

LMAYO9

Question:What do you do when you're in "a rut"?

My relationship isn't in trouble, I think we're just bored. I've been with my husband for 11 years (dating for 9yrs 8 months, married for a bit more than a year) and I think we're officially getting bored with each other. How can I pep it up?

Asked by LMAYO9 on 10/3/08 5 Answers»
VictoriaB

Answer:

You might want to try going out with other couples whose relationships you admire.

One of our experts, Arjuna Ardagh made an interesting point on his expert profile. He said when he and his wife wanted to deepen their relationship, the spent time with other couples who have the kind of extraordinary relationship they were looking to create. You can read the rest of his interview here: Link

Answered by: VictoriaB on 11/24/08
lindad14

Answer:

You don't have to spend a lot of money to have fun together. We will sometimes take a walk around the neighborhood when the weather is nice, or along the boardwalk at the beach. It gives us time to relax and talk to each other. Just getting out of the house helps!

Answered by: lindad14 on 10/6/08
aliciak

Answer:

Maybe think about if you're bored with each other, or just bored with the routine of daily life. Are you home a lot together when you aren't working, just putzing/watching TV, etc.?

I'm a huge fan of being spontaneous! Doesn't work for everyone, but maybe even planning a weekend event without telling him. Once I came up with a scavenger hunt for my boyfriend, where I hid clues each accompanied by a small gift around the house...led up to the main "prize" of concert tickets for both of us.

Answered by: aliciak on 10/6/08
VictoriaB

Answer:

I met a couple at a bbq not long ago who spend each weekend exploring a different neighborhood on foot. They're working their way through the five boroughs on a quest to find a place to live. I thought it sounded like a delightful way to spend the day, see new things, change the scenery, share a new experience.

Answered by: VictoriaB on 10/6/08
charlotte926

Answer:

Instead of doing your regular weekend activities, do something totally different! Use Google Maps and pick a few towns within an hour's travel of where you live. Visit one and plan a picnic, visit a vineyard or just drive along the scenic route and take some great photos.

If you live in an area that has a lot of tourism, tour your own town! Visit the museums, sights and restaurants that make your town unique and rediscover what is so unique about your relationship at the same time.

Answered by: charlotte926 on 10/6/08
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