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Our Grieving Experts

Dr. Therese Rando

Dr. Therese Rando

Psychologist, grief specialist and author of How to Go on...

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David Kessler

David Kessler

Journalist, author and motivational speaker

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Helen Fitzgerald

Helen Fitzgerald

Certified death educator, author and lecturer

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Got A Tip?

Tips

Support after a loss

AnnieChance

A friend recently lost her sister to a sudden stroke, and her sister was a friend of mine as well. She died three days before Thanksgiving. No one saw it coming. I was away with family and couldn't make it back in time for the funeral, and tried to reach out to my friend three times to see how she was doing. I didn't hear anything back so I just assumed she wanted space.

Little did I know that she was really hurting for more support from friends and family, and had felt abandoned after the funeral because everyone else went on with their lives but she could barely get out of bed in the morning.

I guess my tip for people is...for close loved ones who are grieving, you might want to push harder than you think you should to provide help and support. At least push until you hear a "get the hell out of my face," because in all likelihood your friends or family will want and really need your help.

Shared by AnnieChance on 12/9/08
VictoriaB

It's so hard to know what to do in such situations ... if you should push yourself in or back off. Everyone deals with loss in their own way. I can understand the devastation she must feel losing her sister compounded by the seeming lack of caring by others.

This is a really tough time for many people. We are all so distracted by the daily grind we seem to forget the real work of life is unfolding in front of us with our daily interactions, the people we meet, the family we go home to at night.

It's never wrong to write a letter, expressing your feelings and offering your support. If you know any of the other friends/family members and feel comfortable being in touch, perhaps you can pass the word that your friend needs a little extra TLC right now. I'm sure they will step up once they know.