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Young Adults and Addiction: The Benefits of Inpatient Care

For many young people, drug use and experimentation is a rite of passage of sorts. However, experimenting with drugs and alcohol is far from harmless, and can often result in lifelong...

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Dr. Therese Rando

Dr. Therese Rando

Psychologist, grief specialist and author of How to Go on...

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David Kessler

Journalist, author and motivational speaker

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Helen Fitzgerald

Certified death educator, author and lecturer

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The latest news on this change — carefully culled from the world wide web by our change agents. They do the surfing, so you don't have to!

When Grief is Hidden

When Grief is Hidden

Everybody deals with loss differently. Many people are immediately sad and devastated. Some people, however, express no sorrow. This second group is often told “it will hit you later.” But what if it doesn’t?

According to a bereavement study performed by Columbia University psychology professor George Bonanno, not all people grieve. Almost half of the people studied showed no sadness or disruption of their lives due to the loss of a loved one. Were they cold and unfeeling people? Not at all, Bonanno reported.

This is the common misconception – if I don’t feel sadness, I am a bad person. I should be really devastated right now. But grief is not obligatory, and some people will just never feel that type of sadness. It’s important to not feel that you have to force “normal” emotions after a loss. Feel what you’re feeling, and don’t be ashamed if your feelings are not what people are expecting.

Have you ever felt the need to publicly show more grief than you’re actually feeling in order meet people’s expectations? How do you handle that? [Discovery Health]

Posted: 5/12/08

Whatever you are feeling is valid. There is no "normal" when it comes to grief. I'm so sorry for your losses.
You will naturally come to a place where you're ready to get out in the world again...to connect, to learn and grow, to keep moving forward. If you're feeling like that might never happen, or if you're experiencing symptoms of depression (including withdrawl from your family and friends) you may want to get some help. Link

  • By kristen
  • on 5/22/08 4:42 PM EST

I am so grateful to have found this info.I`ve lost so many loved ones and 5 months ago, the love of my life.My office closed and forced me into early retirement and I what I yearn for is quietness and isolation-is this normal??

  • By zanla53
  • on 5/13/08 2:05 PM EST