Unwanted Divorce and Letting Go

I am going through an unwanted divorce. I was married for seven year, both our second marriages. I was blindsided by his decision to leave the marriage and for another woman, 20 years younger than him. She left her spouse to be with mine so they are together. I was shocked, devastated and traumatized. I was powerless to stop the affair and powerless to preserve the marriage so I have no choice but to move on. It is one of the most painful experiences of my life and each day can be a struggle. I tell myself that to hold on to my dignity, embrace the pain and I will come out the other side, stronger and happier. Good luck to all those "victims' of unwanted divorces.

I'm going through a divorce after 26 years of marriage and 30 years together with my high school sweetheart. There are many extenuating circumstances to brought us to this point. A friend of mine says, " you can't force something if it doesn't fit." I think he's got a good point here. My marriage worked for a long time, but as these extenuating circumstances (health issues) began to become too much, it ultimately lead to the demise of my marriage. I am not happy with how things ended, but I am on a path to a happier life. I just have to find my direction now. I do believe that back to my faith and God is where I need to be right now. That is the one true constant that I can rely on and find peace in. I wish you nothing but the best Fizzle20.

I'm am planning to serve my husband of 19 years (together 23 years) with divorce papers soon. He doesn't believe I will ever leave. He lost his job over 9 months ago and hasn't even looked for work - says I will "have to support him whether I like it or not". This should not surprise me, since I have supported the family from the beginning. Maybe I have enabled this behavior, but I can't accept it any longer - what is the point of being married if all I get is a bad roommate.

We have two teenage children and I expect the split will be difficult, but not surprising for them. I have been unhappy for many years and can't keep up the appearances any longer. I can't afford to stay - financially or emotionally. My problem is that intellectually I know all of this, but can't take the very last step easily. I hope this website will help me find some answers as to why I may be hesitating or afraid of the change that I know is the right path to take for myself and my children.

There seems to be alot of this going around. I too, am in the same situation. I am still going through all the emotions ( I am 3 months into this) and I can tell you that I am having a good day once or twice a week now. I see that it's been a few months for you as well. Counseling has helped and just trying to find a distraction every now and then. We all seem to be in a position that we didn't choose and now have work to do that we aren't thrilled about doing. I think we will all be better and stronger people in long run, but in the meantime it is a very painful experience. I sure would like to know how the person who leaves feels............relieved, sad, guilty or just glad to be done with us.

I am in the same predicament..But I was only married for 10 months..been with my husband for 5 years too..lived with each other prior to marriage..He said he needed time to think about what he wanted and decided on permanent separation..I don't even know if I would want him to return at this point--he ended our marriage over the phone and through e-mail and I think I deserved a bit better than that! I'm working on feeling better every day and saving money so I can move out of my parents place--they took me in for now but it's obviously not a permanent situation..I just can't believe someone I loved could do this to me..But I have to accept it to move on..Fizzle, good luck and try to think positive..maybe go see a therapist as this is very helpful..