before you throw in the towel may i suggest counseling? If your husband won't go go alone.. if you can't afford counseling try a church.. You have a lot invested in your marriage with a child. Best wishes

Hi Shaye,

Divorce is an incredibly big decision that is never easy. Not only do you want to trust your instincts, you also want to make sure that you don't let your emotions (b/c they're always there) get the best of your intelligent decision making.

If he wants help, he'll get it. If you need help, seek it as well. Sometimes, we don't know how we contribute to an unhealthy situation, that if we are aware of it, we may be able to make it better.

Remember that divorce is the dissolution of your marriage but not the end of a family bond. If he desires to be a part of your daughter's life, you will have to deal w/ this guy until she marches down the aisle.

When things get ugly, she ultimately loses most. Good luck to you and whatever decision you make, never forget that you are making it for both you and your daughter.

M.

Wow....I have gone through much the same...but add hostility and abuse to his change in behavior that happened the day we were married! I feel for you!! He abandoned me instead of getting help. It was almost 4 years to the day we were married. I just wanted the abuse to stop, and for us to enjoy life together. And I am now going through a divorce too.
Maybe your husband is suffering a depression? And he may not understand why or what is happening to him...? I hope he will talk to a Doctor,and look into therapy to look inside himself and deal with his issues. But that is his chioce.
I hope you will take care of yourself and treat yourself like you would your best friend. Sometimes we need to just step back for our own sanity, and use all that energy we are using up dealing with being around them, into living better instead. I have found more energy that I can apply to living and enjoying things! Yes, I still wish he could enjoy things too, (and not be abusive) but that was and is his choice. Nothing I'd do would or could "make him" less abusive or "make him" more happy, or would make him love himself more. No matter how hard I tried...no matter all his requests I fullfilled...he would just make up things to get enraged about.
And it also didn't matter when I tried to talk to him either...it was always the wrong time of day. I know your frustration, I know the drained feeling...
Shaye...look after yourself, care for yourself. Try to find an activity you feel revitalized and enthuesed about...that does help, I've found. Get back in touch with freinds who you havn't seen because of all your energy was used up dealing with him. I have found that particularly helpful! Some days are harder than others...but you gradually get more days that are better, and less that are worse.
I am hoping the best for you and your daughter!!
walk in beauty...

Shaye,

Since I can't send you an invitation, 'cause you are "Anonymous", I'm sending it this way, -- can we be friends?

We DEFINITELY have a lot in common!

Take care & you be good to you!!
lillie

Hi Shaye!

Only you can know when it's time to leave. You know it in your gut! What does Your gut say?

Think too, the message your husband's behavior is giving your daughter. And if you look at it, what's his non-verbal behavior saying about how he feels toward you.

Don't know it this helps. . . . . . . .