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My husband keeps telling me he wants a divorce (years now), but does nothing to act on it. He wants me to start the process so he can say that I did it. He is verbally abusive, and all because of something that happened before we were married. He said
The issue driving this is that his brother and I had a semi fling back when I was 17. Although I really wanted my husband, I settled for his brother, thinking we didnt have a chance. We never actually had sex, but came close. Then, when I had the chance with my husband, I took it (at the time, he really didnt know about his brother and I). Then I get pregnant. At first he stayed away, but came back to be a father, and here we are 3 kids, 13 years later, and married. This has been an issue for the past 13 years. Soemtimes he says it is the reason we can never work, and then he says that it doesnt matter since we never had sex. no matter what I do, he says he will never trust someone who can be with 2 brothers, and acts like he hates me so much. I'm torn becuase I can understand why it would bother him, on the other hand, why did he let our relationship go on for so long, verbally abusing me and making me think I am sucha horrible person. Help!
I know what I did back then was wrong, but I am a grown woman now, with 3 kids looking at me to raise them the right way, and I dont want to hurt them. I love my husband, but I am so depressed and guilt filled over things I annot change, and have been for years, and that alone has worn me and our marriage down. It doesnt help that we are both so run down from work and financial stress. He says Im not a good wife, which only makes him focus on the past. So every time we make up, I try to be better, but its a continous cycle because I never know when something will trigger his anger, which is why I am distant, and then being distant makes him angry. Should I go ahead and start the divorce when I dont want one? Or do I? I just wnat this cycle to sstop.
