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3 Ways Families Are Like Conveyor Belts

Conveyor belts are a great asset to businesses, whether they're used in warehouses, assembly lines, or other applications. In the same way, families are a great asset when each...

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Our Getting Divorced Experts

Martin Kranitz

Martin Kranitz

Author of Getting Apart Together: The Couple's Guide to a...

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Gayle Rosenwald Smith

Gayle Rosenwald Smith

Lawyer and author of Divorce and Money: Everything You Need...

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Bill Ferguson

Bill Ferguson

Former divorce attorney and author of How to Heal a Painful...

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Getting Through Your Divorce

With more than one million divorces in the United States annually, splitting up seems so commonplace… so routine. That is, until it happens to you. Getting divorced is a traumatic, life-altering event has a way of shaking us to the core, causing us to question both our relationships and our self-worth.

While you may not find it comforting, the fact is that you’re not the only one getting divorced: There will be roughly 999,999 other divorces occurring around you this year. Though the per-capita divorce rate is at its lowest since 1970, it still averages about 45%. But you, yourself, are more than just an anonymous, unfortunate statistic. You are a breathing being in emotional turmoil. So where do you begin to get divorce help?

Perhaps the most important action is not to beat yourself up over getting divorced. Viewing yourself as a failure is self-destructive and will not help your situation. Robert Emery, Ph.D., author of The Truth about Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive, says, “Even if you failed at your marriage, you can succeed at divorce.” By taking some steps to protect you and your children—financially and emotionally—you’ll succeed during the first 30 days of getting divorced and beyond.

Coping While Getting Divorced

Shock. Denial. Anger. Resentment. Fear. These are just a few of the emotions you’re likely to experience as you're getting divorced. Don’t deny yourself these feelings; accept them and work to overcome them. If you’re the talkative type, bare your soul to a friend, family member or therapist. If you’re uncomfortable sharing these feelings with others, keep a journal. Finding an outlet for these emotions is an important part of the healing process.

Laura Lebenkoff knows firsthand that getting divorced can knock you for a loop, having experienced her own failed marriage. As a licensed clinical social worker, she helps individuals, children, adolescents and couples deal with the various stages of divorce. Lebenkoff says that many people go through an “emotional divorce” first, over many years, before actually separating or divorcing. They become, over time, less invested in the relationship.

You often go through a whole range of feelings—bouncing from anger to guilt to anxiety to hope throughout the course of the day. The key, she says, is to embrace those feelings. “Look at it as an opportunity to change,” she says optimistically. “Change is a part of life.”

Dan Cantor of East Brunswick, NJ, is twice divorced and says his emotions were completely different each time. “My first wife,” he says wistfully, “I was madly in love with her. When we split up, that was definitely the lowest point of my life. I was emotionally crushed.”

Dan immersed himself in a new hobby, a healthy approach to dealing with getting divorced. He started to go dancing, which provided him a social outlet. Ironically, he met his second wife through dancing. “The second time,” he says, “the marriage was bad for a long time.” After eight months of counseling, he says he knew it was over. “So I had already grieved.”

Posted: 9/18/07
Luizalopez

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Luizalopez

GREETINGS..... My name is Luiza Lopez, I had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never like him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man called Dr. Believe online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell that will make my parent love my husband and allow me to marry him without any quarrel, thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him than before we are now happily married with a baby boy,please help me in thanking him for his help, here is the email: Authenticspellcast@gmail.com or Authenticspellcast@hotmail.com ALSO CONTACT HIM FOR HELP IF YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF PROBLEM. You can view on his website: Link or call him on his mobile number : +2348113868297

Rosieklein

LOVE SPELL CASTER (DR. OZIL) THAT HELPED ME BRING BACK MY DIVORCE HUSBAND VIEW WEBSITE: Link CONTACT HIM NOW FOR ANY KIND OF HELP

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Rosieklein

LOVE SPELL CASTER (DR. OZIL) THAT HELPED ME BRING BACK MY DIVORCE HUSBAND VIEW WEBSITE: Link CONTACT HIM NOW FOR ANY KIND OF HELP

With so much in my heart i am here to express myself on how Dr. Ozil saved my marriage from divorce. Myself and my husband were having some misunderstanding and it was tearing our marriage apart to the extend my husband was seeking for a divorce. So i have no option than to go to the internet to seek for solution to my problem it was there i came across Dr. Ozil details and about how he has helped a lot of people by restoring there relationship. I contact Dr. Ozil and in less than 48 hours my husband cancelled the divorce papers. Now myself and my husband live together in peace and harmony all thanks to Dr. Ozil for saving my marriage from breaking up. Dr. Ozil contact information are via email: drozilsolutionhome@yahoo.com or drozilsolutionhome@outlook.com call his phone number: +2348161897826 or view and contact him on his website: Link

Garrisonjeff

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Thank you for reading my message.

BEST REGARD