Ah, now there's a site for sore eyes—a nice big piece of wild Alaskan salmon, grilled to perfection. It tastes great and good for you, especially if age-related macular degeneration (AMD) runs in your family.

Personal space is at a premium these days. Whenever you need a little, start singing—in the elevator, on the subway, in line at Starbucks, wherever. People will back off—we're talking instant elbow room.

Another knock-down, drag-out battle with that certain someone. The insults are flying. Well, I never! You're so mad you could just... just... well, you could just walk out that door.

Hey, did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail? The headline in the newspaper read "SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE."