Founder – Chief Change Optimist – Author – Host – Speaker – TV/Radio Personality – Mentor
Ariane de Bonvoisin - Founder and Chief Change Optimist
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Monday, March 31, 2008

Who do you turn to in times of change?

Sometimes the best person to help you in times of change is the person you least expect. Your friends and family are more comfortable with you the way you are and, at some level, don't want you to change.

When going through a change, look for people who want to help you through this change, believe you can change for the better and will be happy when you do. Surround yourself with people who won't judge or be critical—people who will allow you to fail and find your own strength. This doesn’t mean you should write off your friends and family, rather you should add some new friends—those who have been through many changes themselves—who you can rely to inspire you through.

Below is one of my favorite quotes on change and transformation. Though not very well known, it touches the core of what happens when we go through change or fall upon tough times.

"Those who, being really on the way, fall upon hard times in the world will not, as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers refuge and comfort and encourages the old self to survive. Rather they will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help them to risk themselves, so that they may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it, thus making of it a 'raft that leads to the far shore.' Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over again to annihilation can that which is indestructible arise within us. In this lies the dignity of daring." —from The Way of Transformation by Karlfried Graf Durckheim