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Work Together and He Broke Up With Me
The man I thought completed me, was my best friend and the one I thought I would spend the rest of my life has broken up with me. This was not a sudden break up, we have done the on again, off again dating until he finally said "I am happiest when I am not in a relationship". We work at the same company, in the same building, but not directly together so I can avoid him. I am so broken hearted and I know that I have to go through a long healing process. I know I can't go around it, under it or over it, I have to go through it. I have asked all the questions "God why did you put such a wonderful man in my life, to only make it end likes this?", I have asked my ex "I thought you said I was your forever girl" ... I have asked a bazillion questions and still feel lost, lonely, frustrated, angry and shattered. I have to take things one hour at a time right now because much more than that will bring on an anxiety attack. This man was my best friend and that is what hurts the most. He desperately wants us to be friends and still hang out ... I can't do that because it hurts too much the next day. I still love him and want to be with him. Yes, I made the mistake of agreeing to be friends and to hang out because I thought he would see all the wonderful things he was going to miss out on if he truly let me go, but then I realized that he really doesn't care about that and I was getting hurt in the interium. I don't understand why he still wants to be friends. Why does he still want to hang out with me? Why does he still want to share emails and phone conversations? This past week I told him I couldnt have contact with him because I wasn't healing and he said he would respect my wishes and follow my lead. If I wanted contact to let him know and if not then he wouldn't contact me. He did add that he looks forward to the time when we can be friends again. What if I never get to that point? I have known this man 11 years and we dated 3 and then it was off and on for a year. We haven't dated since October 2009, but we have talked a lot and went out for drinks a few times since then, and lots and lots of emails. He has even told me that he still loves me. But, last week I finally asked if he thought we would ever have a relationship again and he said "no" ... so I had to break all ties.
At first I thought the breakup was a mid-life crisis thing because we are in that age group, but now I have to tell myself, it doesn't matter if that is it or not, the bottomline is, he doesn't want to be with me. So, far I have been doing ok, but just ok and as I said, it is one hour at a time. In the 11 years I have known him, I have never gone more than a week without talking to him, so this is going to be VERY hard. Please pray that I make it through next week without back sliding. I feel like I am rambling and I should probably start to bring this post to a close, but I have one more burning question in my mind ... what are your thoughts on me changing my job? I have thought many times that leaving the company would be the best way to move on, but I have 11 years in with the company and if I leave, does that send a negative or positive signal to the ex?
So, confused and so tired of crying.Shared by: Ohkay7557 on 3/14/10