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'Tis Better to Give Than to Succeed?
Two authors duked it out about women in the workplace on The Today Show this morning. Megan Basham, author of “Beside Every Successful Man,” claims that polls show women actually want to remove themselves from the working world and crave to spend more time at home. With the economy in a tailspin though, many households require two incomes to survive. She also said that women at home are happier and more supportive of their husbands, which ultimately increases their salaries.
On the other side of the fence is Leslie Bennetts, author of “The Feminine Mistake” (sound vaguely familiar?) who says no way, no how should a woman quit her job to support her husband. Since personal and economic futures are always cloudy, she says it’s better to remain financially independent in case of divorce, death or unexpected expenses.
Would you rather support your partner emotionally from home or financially by working? What would he prefer? [Today Show]
I wonder if in some cases it is not the money being brought in, but the people involved and their relationships. Currently I agree with Meghan Basham.
My fiance and I are both working; and while it's nice to have my own money, I do wish that I could have more time for my own hobbies and pursuits. Like the time and resources to become more active in my church. However these are things that I have little to no time for while I'm working. It may be the pay grade. It may be the hours. It may jut be the fact that this is not my dream career, but whatever the reason I know that I too would be happier at home tending to my family and friends. And, If it weren't for the need of two incomes I would get my wish too.
I agree with Leslie Bennetts. I can't imagine not being financially independent. It makes me happy and confident, which makes my fiancé happy too. And although we don't have children, whenever that day comes, I can't imagine we'd have the luxury of one of us being a stay-at-home parent. The economy is too rough!
Since I'm going through a divorce, I might be a bit jaded in my reply.
I was a stay-at-home wife & mother (had 4 ADHD kids to deal with & keep out of trouble). I found that my husband devalued my contribution and support -- after all, I wasn't bringing money into the household! Then, when the youngest was in 8th grade, I worked part-time for a year -- bringing a paycheck home, and he didn't appreciate that, either.
It seemed to me, he wanted to have his cake and eat it, too!