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Our Proposing Experts

Robert Hensley

Robert Hensley

President of Diamond helpers.com

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Laurie Puhn

Laurie Puhn

Harvard-trained, family and divorce mediator, and author

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William Easton

William Easton

Founder and editor of Today's Groom magazine

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Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Figuring Out How to Propose



Then there’s that whole commitment-for-life thing. Proposing is the first step that means “I want to walk down the aisle, get married, have children and grow old with you.” That can be frightening to guys as images of losing friends and freedom float through their minds. “Guys might think, ‘What am I going to have to give up?’ That’s a very defensive view of things, but something probably everyone goes through in his own mind,” says Michaels. “The flip is, ‘What am I gaining?’ Trying to understand that part.”

What a Girl Wants

Once you’ve determined that she’s “the one” and the idea of marriage doesn’t make you run, it’s time to start planning your proposal. The first thing you’ll want to tackle in the first 30 days is the engagement ring. After all, this is probably the most expensive part of the proposal. It’s the symbol of the commitment you want to make. Since every woman’s tastes vary, you’ll have to figure out exactly what kind of ring she wants.

With the average cost of an engagement ring at $3,200, make sure you do some research in the first 30 days into a good quality stone for your girlfriend. Start by learning the four C’s—cut, color, clarity and carat weight—which determine a diamond’s market price. There are many sites on the web that dispel the myths about the four C’s and how they affect your purchase, including Diamondhelpers.com, Thediamondbuyingguide.com, Adiamondisforever.com, and Zales.com.

There is no limit to how much you can learn about diamonds. It’s really about finding a diamond that fits your budget and matches your girlfriend’s desires. “However you buy it, it’s something that comes from the heart,” Michaels says. “Have some sense. Don’t ask her directly, but talk to her friends about what she likes or find someone who has a good sense of style. Buying a ring that speaks to her goes a long way beyond the carat weight, cut, clarity or color.”

Posted: 1/7/08
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