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Question:my life is a miss. please help

i try to make my family happy. but my husband just stays on me. what can i do.

Asked by justforyou on 5/28/08 2 Answers»


I am so there; the key to your situation honestly is you need to remember who you are. You're a strong, capable, creative, intelligent person. Try to step out of the situation, think about what you want out of you marriage and then plan out how to get it. Communication, love, and kindness will get you farther than tears or yelling. Trust me, husbands hate it when they can't get the reaction they expect; I think it confuses them, which gives you the upper hand. Also, much like children, they learn by repetition. I have to tell my husband quite frequently, " I walk away FOR A REASON." After 5 years, he's learned why.

Another thing that helps me keep my head strait is family and friends. Talking to the people in my corner are a necessity to me, they keep me sane and help me control my fight or flight instinct.

Answered by: JLHS05 on 5/28/08


Dear Justforyou,

This will be a difficult situation to reverse!! Over time, in any relationship, we teach people how to treat us by the types of behaviors we accept from the other person.

One thing you can do is to try and talk to him about your feelings. This may not have much success as he apparently is not concerned about your feelings. Suggest counseling if he won't listen.

you can take drastic measures to help him understand your feelings. Quit doing one small thing that you do for him. Explain you will not do that certain chore again until he expresses appreciation and quits nagging. You are his wife, not his child. Verbalize your love for him and your respect for him and tell him that you want no less than the same from him. If declining that one small chore does not open his eyes, add another and another until he comes around or agrees to counseling.

It took time to get to this point in your relationship and it will take time to fix it. I know what i am talking about because of my 7-year marriage to a man who dominated me. I tried to fix things, but ended up walking away.

You are the only one who can decide which avenue to take. One thing you MUST realize is that you deserve love and kindness and respect.

Answered by: favibeth on 5/28/08
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