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Question:I am going through a period of change. Like a lot of people, I have lost my job due to a lay off, and a relationship. I woke up this morning at 2:00 a.m in a panic, all I could see were doors closing and my failures. It made me see my future as limited

I have had a lot of different jobs since my divorce, mostly by my choice, and have not had a long term relationship since then. I am afraid my options are limited. I have looked outside my industry and have not found a career yet that matches my skills and it is discouraging. Just purchase, "What Color is MY Parachute," as recommended on this site. Suggestions are welcome!

Asked by esthechica on 10/22/08 1 Answer»


Hi, Esthechica

At the risk of sounding like a bubble head, I'd suggest that you stop thinking of your options as limited. You've probably heard the expression 'i need to get out of my own way' or (and this one is a bit more religious) 'let go and let god'

To me, both of these things are saying something similar and that is that you have to stop pushing sometimes and give yourself over to the universe, which sounds dumb and is "sure easy for you to say if you have a job," but the point I am trying to make is that we have to first see and imagine the possibilities before we can begin attracting those things to us.

I remember feeling out of sorts on a number of levels after my divorce. My life up until that point had been so closely tied to my house, my husband, my duties as a wife and housekeeper. Suddenly single and on my own I began to question everything I thought I knew about myself. I'm lucky in some sense that I did have a job to at least stave off some of the distraction but I know now that it took me years to come to terms with who I was and who I wanted to be as well as what I wanted to do for work. Again, I'm lucky that I've always had a passion for what I call a job.

I've never read "What Color is Your Parachute" but have heard great things about it. The book that helped set me on a better course is called "Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting" which is a wonderful book about energy and about manifesting your heart's desires. While not a miracle cure for what was ailing me, it did give me a fresh perspective on how to get clear on what I wanted and focus on how to bring those wants closer to me.

I like to believe that we all have the answers inside of us and that we're just not ready to believe what we're telling ourselves or that it's not the right time ...

Reading books, taking classes, traveling to new places, meeting new people, sharing new ideas and pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone at times are all things I would suggest to help you gain greater clarity in this regard.

Deepak Chopra says that we have something like 50,000 thoughts every day and that most of them are negative ... that's a hard battle to fight, but you need to start replacing the negative and self limiting messages with positive, uplifting ones ... let some light shine in on to expose the beauty and wonder that is YOU. No one else is like you and no one can replace you. Revel and rejoice in your unique qualities and attributes while you explore the things you are good at and that make you happy. Before you know it there will be a path to connect the two.

You might want to listen to some of the podcasts Ariane has done with Change Nation guests -- in particular the ones about Pursuing Your Dreams.

John Assaraf (from The Secret) has a great interview and is also coming out with a new book called The Vision Board Kit. If you haven't created a vision board I would suggest taking some time this weekend. It can really help ... if for no other reason than to spend some quiet time thinking about and pulling together words and images to help define what you want to attract in the future.

Good luck!! Please let us know how it goes.

Answered by: VictoriaB on 10/22/08
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