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Question:How long does it take for your grown childeren to accept that mom has changed for the good?

When my kids "3 of them" were 3 ,7 , and 8 the state of CT. took them from me. I had a drug and alchohal problem.The state was trying to tell me my kids were out of controll. I told them NO it is not the kids. It is me ! So that started along hall of rehabs and relapes. My kids are al grown living in CT. I myself need desprately to move from there and I did 3 years ago. I live in beautiful VT. I love it. My soberity is going stronger every day. I have a good supports.I have hobbies to today to. But my biggest achivement this year was to finally accept that mty Father has past on."He past when I was 8yrs. old."and forgave my mother.She also pasted on.
I have made lots of positive changes this year so far.from diet to my additute. I have accepted my responsiablity for my past actions. So I ask the question when do they kids see and feel this? When they r ready?

Asked by Debster1227 on 5/3/08 2 Answers»


Your asking a hard and sensitive question. However,
I do know that all children need and love their mother
and dad. The best thing you can do right now is to let
them know that you are available to them any time.
Let them know that you are only a phone call away.
And be there for them when they do come by.

They will need time to heal. And when they are
ready they will probably want answers from you asking
Why?? Don't be alarmed. This is a process. Be
honest with them and ready to continue your relationships in a healthy mannor. Some children may
want to sever their ties with their parents, because it
has been very painful and hard on them, the children.
Bottom line: it is up to them if they want to continue
their relationship with you. Whether they do or not,
they will always love you. It just may be easier on them
if they keep their distance. It is now up to the grown
children. The choice is theirs.

Also, it may take them along time to come around you,
because each one of us mature at different levels.
Meaning they need to come to the understanding of
why it happened. They need to understand that you
did the best you could for them at that time. They
need to understand the nature of your problem and
what led you to it.

Talk to GOD. HE answers prayers.

Answered by: cactusgirl08 on 5/17/08


Well, Deb It may take them awhile. I don't know how old your children are now. It is a word called trust and they probabley have a shield up so they don't get hurt again. having a parent that drinks all of the time is hard my own father drank when I was growing up. It was not a pleasant thing sometime he was so mean and nasty to us it . he stopped drinking when I was 13 I am 43 now it took along time to forgive him. just be patient and show them love. I also worked with a family their mom had drank for 25yr.s but she changed her life to, and her and her family is doing great ! May God Bless you and keep up the good work staying sober. It make lifew so much more enjoyable

Answered by: carefree on 5/3/08
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