"I love your book. It is helping me to acknowledge negative thoughts and emotions and turn them around, instead of letting them circle in my head." -Teresa
Read More Testimonials»

Our Getting Divorced Experts

Martin Kranitz

Martin Kranitz

Author of Getting Apart Together: The Couple's Guide to a...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Gayle Rosenwald Smith

Gayle Rosenwald Smith

Lawyer and author of Divorce and Money: Everything You Need...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Bill Ferguson

Bill Ferguson

Former divorce attorney and author of How to Heal a Painful...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Got a Question?

Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

Anonymous

Question:Is divorce the right move for me?

I'm getting divorced after four years because I'm tired of fighting and argueing with my husband. From the day we got married he changed and became someone I don't like. All he does is work come home shower, eat and go to bed. He never spends any time with me or my daughter. and when I try to talk to him about it he falls asleep and never hears anything I've said and it doesn't matter when I talk to him. It could be on the weekend, when he gets up, at dinner, before or after he showers, before bed, in the car, it doesn't matter where. The day we married I have struggled with this problem and now four years later I'm done, I'm tired and I can't keep trying to save a marrage thats never been a marrage, can I.
Shaye

Asked by Anonymous on 7/25/08 4 Answers»
dcd4602

Answer:

before you throw in the towel may i suggest counseling? If your husband won't go go alone.. if you can't afford counseling try a church.. You have a lot invested in your marriage with a child. Best wishes

Answered by: dcd4602 on 8/7/08
pryormn

Answer:

Hi Shaye,

Divorce is an incredibly big decision that is never easy. Not only do you want to trust your instincts, you also want to make sure that you don't let your emotions (b/c they're always there) get the best of your intelligent decision making.

If he wants help, he'll get it. If you need help, seek it as well. Sometimes, we don't know how we contribute to an unhealthy situation, that if we are aware of it, we may be able to make it better.

Remember that divorce is the dissolution of your marriage but not the end of a family bond. If he desires to be a part of your daughter's life, you will have to deal w/ this guy until she marches down the aisle.

When things get ugly, she ultimately loses most. Good luck to you and whatever decision you make, never forget that you are making it for both you and your daughter.

M.

Answered by: pryormn on 8/5/08
lilliede81

Answer:

Shaye,

Since I can't send you an invitation, 'cause you are "Anonymous", I'm sending it this way, -- can we be friends?

We DEFINITELY have a lot in common!

Take care & you be good to you!!
lillie

Answered by: lilliede81 on 7/27/08
lilliede81

Answer:

Hi Shaye!

Only you can know when it's time to leave. You know it in your gut! What does Your gut say?

Think too, the message your husband's behavior is giving your daughter. And if you look at it, what's his non-verbal behavior saying about how he feels toward you.

Don't know it this helps. . . . . . . .

Answered by: lilliede81 on 7/27/08
Got an Answer?