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Is There a "Right Time" to Divorce?

Is There a "Right Time" to Divorce?

When parents have raised kids together but find their marriage dissolving for whatever reasons, they often wonder whether they should tough out the relationship for their children’s best interest. News flash: this is rarely the right answer.

Most kids are not happy to see their parents split, regardless of their age. Even older kids who are teenagers or college students will be confused and upset by the new holiday arrangements. Teenagers, although more mature than children, will still struggle with the different sets of rules at the different households. Just as there is no right or wrong time to have children, there is no right or wrong time to divorce.

Kids and teens aren’t stupid. They can see when their parents aren’t happy. Why would they want two unhappy parents when they could have two happy, separated parents? While you might think staying together for your children is helping them, it could actually do more damage to them and negatively influence their perceptions of marriage and relationships. Kids respect and emulate parents who stand up for their own happiness. [The Dallas Morning News]

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I'm with oldgold on this one. In my parents generation people stayed together because it was the right thing to do and because they made a commitment ... spoken before friends and family ... and before the eyes of God that they were going to see this thing through 'till death do us part'

I think we're such a disposable society we think that when things aren't to our liking anymore or it's getting too hard, that we can just say 'i don't want to play anymore'

That attitude is not one to teach children or adults.


"there's no wrong time to divorce."
Heck no, I can do whatever "I" want. So I made a solemn promise in front of witnesses and before God. I don't feel like being married anymore. Find someone to help me see the situation from a different point of view and, perhaps, learn some effective tools for coping with, and transmuting(?) a very challenging relationship and in the process teaching my children a rare and priceless lesson? That's too much work, I don't feel like it. I mean, if I didn't like my job anymore I'd just quit, right?, or if I didn't like the year old car anymore I would stop making payments. Why should I pay for something I don't want anymore? The kids? Grow up. Life's not fair. Deal with it. If I really thought about it beforehand, I wouldn't have had you kids, anyway. It's all about ME, now.

  • By oldgold
  • on 10/5/08 12:08 PM EST