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How to identify potentially harmful friendship


Yes, men and women can be friends, but it doesn't mean they always should.

If you have a friend who could be getting in the way of your relationship with a spouse or partner, ask yourself the following:

Would I be willing to give up the friendship to save my relationship?

Am I uncomfortable telling my partner about the time I spend with this other person?

Do I flirt without realizing it, or do I realize it and do it because it feels good?

Can I confront this person about having boundaries/clearing up mixed signals?

It's up to you how you proceed with friendships, but be cautious about perception on all sides!

Shared by Kiki76 on 11/25/08

Yeah, guy/girl friendships can be tough to navigate. If there's any kind of attraction, you're going to have to deal with it. I guess if you're not committed to someone though, it can work out for you--you're already friends, but maybe you'd like to date? Regardless, it will make you question your current relationship, which isn't necessarily a bad thing...just to ask yourself the above questions you listed.

  • By aliciak
  • on 11/27/08 10:10 AM EST

Many times I have had male friends that were married but conversated at work or just male friend (not married). The male that was married wanted us to hang out. So, I said let me meet his wife but some reason he would never honor the request. In result, he only wanted to get into my pants; that relationship ended. This male friend I have now - we use to date but upon knowing he did not a relationship and never wanted to go anywhere, so we just remain friends. At one point I was involve with someone, he would randomly call for quick fling. I communicated to him(no thank you but it good to hear from you, I am with someone, I even talk to this male friend about my - at one point in time- relationship. We hang out rarely; mostly phone conversation. Sometimes tempted but knew my red flags and to be firm, therefore to prevent a harmful friendship.

At one point in my life, I began to believe men and women can not be friends because for some reason there was an agenda for the male to get into your pants. This is the female to stand up and stand your ground. If you think there is temptation of lust and can not control; it is not a good idea to stay involve with that opposite sex; especially ex-boyfriend. It will ruin your current relationship.