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Having A Baby Via Surrogate
Via The Frisky (one of our favorite sites ever) today:
In last weekend’s edition of the New York Times Magazine, Alex Kuczynski, the author of Beauty Junkies, writes about having a baby by surrogate in ”Her Body, My Baby.” In her late 30s, Kuczynski couldn’t get pregnant. Over the course of several years, she tried in vitro fertilization and miscarried multiple times. Finally, she found a surrogate mother who would carry, as she puts it, “the product of my egg and my husband’s sperm.” It’s a story about the lengths a woman will go to have a baby—but it’s also a story only a wealthy woman could tell, as Kuczynksi and her financier husband spent over $100,000 to make her baby dreams come true. (The surrogate was paid $25,000 for the use of her womb.) In the article’s comments, readers are tearing Kuczynski apart, deeming her a “disgusting… spoiled brat” and a “rich, self-obsessed snob,” while far fewer others are commending her for telling her story at all.
Can we really crucify a woman for wanting to have a baby at any cost? Do you judge Kuczynski this harshly, or can you understand what it is to want a child so badly?
Mmmm... that's a tough one. I always stick with the idea that -- while we think so many things when we read something like this -- we cannot judge until we have walked in someone else's shoes. And since I have yet to approach the point in my life when I am looking to get pregnant, I am keeping my opinions to myself on this one. I cannot imagine what it would feel like to be unable to bear a child.
I was asked once to be a surrogate for some friends. While I eventually declined, I think that any child brought into the world to loving parents is a blessing. I'd imagine that yes, it's easier for the author, who has piles of money and everything she could ever want or need. But I can't judge her longing for a child and going to extremes to have one. I don't know her personally, or her heart. As long as she's a loving mom, does it really matter?