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Our Adopting a Child Experts

Susan Soon-Keum Cox

Susan Soon-Keum Cox

Adoptee and the vice president of public policy and external...

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Ken Mullner

Ken Mullner

An adoptive parent and executive director of the National...

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Adam Pertman

Adam Pertman

Executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute...

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Question:If you've adopted a child, how has it changed your life?

Asked by bstarr on 2/14/08 1 Answer»


My parents adopted a 15 year old from Kazahkstan 3 years ago. I've been out of the house for a long time, so it hasn't directly affected me, but it's affected them immensely.

He is their son. They love him, adore him, but it has been a VERY HARD TRANSITION. I'm sure in large part its because he is a teenager. There was also the language barrier, the cultural differences, etc., but part of it is that when a baby hasn't had the opportunity to make an attachment with its parent, it doesn't learn to make those attachments with other people. It's something to be aware of. My adopted brother is charming, funny, handsome, but he is also manipulative and very troubled. It's not something that you can just 'fix'. You almost have to look at him as though he were a special needs child, although you wouldn't know it to have a conversation with him.

My only advice if you're looking to adopt a child is to be well versed on all the issues that can come out later, even if you're adopting an infant. Attachment disorders can come from even a few weeks without contact from loving adults.

I think my parents are amazing for all they do. I love my younger brother, he is a wonderful young man, but very very troubled. I think adoption is a wonderful thing to do. It's something I would consider doing down the road, but it's not something to be entered into lightly. It's something to take VERY seriously because it changes your life in ways you never could have imagined.

Answered by: BossNumber1 on 5/4/08
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