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My brother is an alcaholic.
He has been married for 22 years and probably has only worked 5 of those years on and off. He just recently got a job driving an 18 wheeler, and has been in training for the past 3 weeks. He led his family to believe he had stopped drinking but I suspected it was a lie. Today I learned he was in jail in New York on drinking and driving, lost his new job, and was somehow going to catch a bus home. It hurts us to see him living life like this, and it's sad that he has lost his family to this as well. He has two kids and a great wife. My family and I are trying to help him, but We don't want him to wreck our families either. We are going to look up a local alanon group. Any other other suggestions or information that may help him see he is sick and needs help? I pray we get through to him before he kills himself or worse someone else?
I participated in an intervention with some friends and it was incredibly awkward, but we felt it was important to let our friend know we cared about what he was doing to himself. The sad part is it didn't make much of a difference. He continues to lose jobs, friends and alienate people with his erratic behavior, which, of course, is caused by the addiction he suffers from.
It is a disease and people who suffer do deserve our compassion. I think the hardest part is knowing you can't change them ... they have to want to change themselves and make the effort to do so.
I hope the family can find the strength to stick together and help each other as they try to help him. "Love First" is a book and web site you might want to check out.
The only advice I really have is to get to Alanon ASAP. They will have a great deal of resources and experience that will help you through this process. They'll give you much better advice than I could at this point.
I just wanted to say that I've been through this with a couple of family members and it's absolutely heartbreaking. The person with the disease is never the only one who suffers. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.