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Our Stepparenting Experts

Jeannette Lofas

Jeannette Lofas

Founder of the Stepfamily Foundation

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Sally Bjornsen

Sally Bjornsen

Creator of the Sassy Stepmother web site and author of The...

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Dr. Carl Pickhardt

Dr. Carl Pickhardt

Psychologist and author of Keys to Successful Stepfathering

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Got A Tip?

Tips

Good God!

GeriGreene

What a gift to have your experience as an example of what love is. You have demonstrated love and caring and responsibility because you CHOOSE to - not out of any reluctant sense of obligation!

I grew up in a blended family and called a woman Grandma who was related to me only via my BROTHER - notice I did not say "half" - my father was a giving person who welcomed family members of all six of us regardless of who was related by blood as he was wise enough to know that it really did not matter.

We all benefitted and I still to this day do not understand how a father or mother can dismiss the threads that become the tapestry of life.

I would say BLESS YOU - but it is unnecessary. You already ARE !!!

Shared by GeriGreene on 8/14/08
oldgold

Thanks for the reminder that Love is an ACTION word.

kingwoodmom

I have three children from my exhusband. Their little brother is my natural child but they are my imported "loves". When I married their father I had charms engraved for each of them with their names in front of a heart and I had matching charms for my use. The card I gave them said something along the lines about the fact that though they did not grow under my heart, I was glad to see them grow in front of my heart and accept them as part of my life. Then when their brother was born, I had charms made with a heart in the middle and their names around the heart with an M & D in the center of the heart (for mom and dad). Even though their father and I are no longer together, they still call me mom and their natural mom is okay with it and we get along great. In fact, I am now a grandma from my oldest daughter in that part of my family. They are always welcome in my home no matter what and I am happy to say that we have great relationships between us even though their father would rather us not. Their little brother lives with me and they keep in close contact with him I am happy to say. It is possible to have a great relationship with children that aren't born to you though it takes lots of work to accomplish this. I have mailed care packs to my son in the military, gone to graduations, baby showers, birthday calls, christmas' together each year no matter what (even if its in early December or even as late as early January based on our schedules and illnesses!!!) My son has a bigger family than he might if I had not made this effort.

In fact, I am dating a man now that has a daughter and I plan to do similar things for her if our relationship continues on it's same path.

I tell all my kids that no matter what, I love them even if they make mistakes cause that is when they need me most. It can be done.