Making Change Easier

Using these tried-and-true methods will make it easier to succeed during any change.

In the words of prolific British novelist Arnold Bennett, “Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” So if you find change difficult to handle, you’re not alone; many others grapple with both the benefits and challenges brought about by change. Take solace in the fact that change happens to everyone everyday; it’s the one constant in life, the thing that connects us all.

Perhaps life has handed you a challenging change, or maybe you’ve initiated a change you’ve always wanted to make. At First30Days, we believe that the change you’re currently experiencing can be made easier, smoother and less stressful; we’re going to share proven tips and techniques to help you cope with this change—be it a career change, relationship change, health change or financial change—with hope, optimism and serenity.

At First30Days, we’ve developed nine principles, or secrets, to help you move through change to reach your destination successfully. We believe that creating an entirely new perspective on change—a new mindset about the transitions you face—will help you become a “Change Optimist” and love your life even more.

1. Change Your View of Change: Beliefs Can Make all the Difference

The things that you believe about change—and about yourself—will directly affect how successfully you move through your current transition, whether you’re in day one, day 30 or years past the start of the change.
People who fear change usually believe that change is hard, which lays bare all of their anxieties and insecurities. They then feel paralyzed and unable to move past this change for fear of failure. On the other hand, there are people who believe that change is a positive thing that will help them grow and learn. These “Change Optimists” also believe that something exciting is waiting for them on the other side of the transition—even if they can’t see the benefit now.

The good news is: we can identify and bust the myths and fears we have about change. Don’t ask the traditional disempowering questions during change, such as “Why did this happen to me?” and “How will I ever get through this?” Kick-start a new belief about change with a few new questions, like “What could be great about this change?,” “What opportunity has this change brought to me?,” “What good things in my life haven’t changed?” and “What can I be grateful for?” When you ask these positive questions, you’ll notice your outlook on change beginning to shift to the positive.

2. The Change Guarantee™: From This Situation, Something Good Will Come

Even though it’s hard to imagine while you’re in the middle of a change, the transition you’re going through is opening up your life and leading you toward a brighter future. Every change will eventually bring something good into your life: This is the Change Guarantee. It may not be how, what or when they expect, but those who navigate change successfully know that it always brings a gift into their lives.

Maybe you’ve been fired and unemployed for months; it’s likely that a new, rewarding career is on your horizon. Maybe you’ve divorced and believe that you’ll never fall in love again; it’s possible that the best relationship of your life is right around the corner. Perhaps you’ve had a heart attack; by permanently changing the way you eat and exercise, you’re in for the best years of your life. Your current change is already working to lead you to a brighter future.

3. The Change Muscle™: You’re Stronger than You Think

Those who successfully move through change know they’re resilient, strong and capable of getting through anything. There’s something within every human being that supports us and keeps us alive and moving forward: We’re born with a will to survive, a will to heal and a will to be happier and feel good again. Your Change Muscle is the strength that’s created from all of the changes that you’ve been through—the big changes, small changes, unexpected changes and the changes you, yourself, have initiated.

Change gets easier the more we live through it. Our brains and bodies tend to remember the last time we experienced change—recalling that it didn’t kill us. When we take the time to look back, we remember that something positive eventually came from it, as well. Reinforce the strength of your Change Muscle by creating a Change Resume™, a private document that lists all of the changes that you’ve already lived through. Include changes big and small—from switching schools or moving to a new city to surviving a serious accident or getting divorced. Every change, both positive and challenging, will strengthen your Change Muscle and help you get through the change you’re experiencing today—and the changes you will certainly face in the future.

4. Change Demons: How to Recognize Negative Emotions and Move Past Them

People who move easily through change know that every challenging emotion can be replaced with a positive emotion that will help strengthen their resolve to move through change in a calmer, more optimistic way. The Change Demons—the negative emotions of fear, doubt, impatience, blame, guilt and shame that rear their ugly heads during change—can each be substituted for a brighter emotion.

Replace fear with faith. The next time fear shows up, find your faith—faith in yourself, in spirituality, in Life or in the certainty that this situation will change.

Replace doubt with surrender. During change, it’s natural to doubt. The next time you feel doubtful, trust that things will resolve themselves and become clear.

Replace impatience with endurance. It’s natural to want to charge through change as quickly as possible. But the next time you feel impatient, remember that every change depends on your endurance—your ability to wait for the next phase of your life to progress at its own pace.

Replace blame with honesty. During change, we often look for someone to blame for the pain or stress that we’re experiencing. When you find yourself blaming someone, especially yourself, get radically honest by asking yourself: “What’s the truth?” “What’s really happening?” “What can I do to make it better?”

Replace guilt with forgiveness. People have the ability to feel guilty about anything. The next time you feel guilty, forgive yourself and make your guilt a thing of the past.

Replace shame with honor. The changes you’re experiencing may cause you to feel ashamed of what’s happening in your life. When shame comes up, use it as an opportunity to honor your choices, decisions and mistakes.

5. The Gift of Acceptance: Resisting Change is Not the Answer

Change Optimists know that the quicker they accept change, the less pain and hardship they will feel. When you accept change, it means that you take in your new circumstances without fighting, arguing, explaining or asking, “What if?”

Think of yourself as a boat on the river: When you resist change, it’s as if you’re rowing upstream against the current, when everything that’s right for you is downstream. Change becomes hard when you try to get back upstream to where you once were instead of flowing with the “River of Life.” Clinging to the rocks or rowing vigorously back upstream makes change tough.

Resisting change often makes life more difficult; with time, we always adjust to new ways of living.

6. The Things You Can Control: What You Say, Think and Feel

Those who successfully navigate change know that when they feel “stuck,” speaking different words, thinking positive thoughts and getting in touch with their feelings can help them become “unstuck” in a matter of minutes. Though you can’t control how or when things change in your life, you can control the words you say, the dominant thoughts you believe and the emotions you allow yourself to feel. When you stop trying to control your outside circumstances and work, instead, to control what goes on inside of yourself, you’ll be on your way to loving your life more.

You can begin to control your words, thoughts and feelings today by:

• Becoming aware of the language you use to describe the change you’re experiencing. Trade victim vocabulary for words that are uplifting and empowering.
• Noticing your thought patterns. When you change the way you think, you begin to control the movies that play in your mind: You have the power to make them bright, dark, negative, lonely or uplifting.
• Realizing that all feelings—the positive and the challenging—become your compass while navigating change; they help point you in the optimistic direction by alerting you to how you don’t want to feel and how you do want to feel.

7. Meet Your Spiritual Side: Where Tranquility, Ideas and Wisdom Live

When going through change, Change Optimists know that they need to look for the part of themselves that doesn’t change and is always there—the part that’s calm and centered. This is their spiritual side, and it will help them move through change with ease and grace.

When you tap into this side of yourself, you’re connecting with an army of invisible forces that are just waiting to help you. You can tune into this resource every day by simply turning inward and noticing how things feel.

Start tapping into your spiritual side today by embracing quiet time: You can take a walk, sit in silence, pray, express your gratitude or meditate. The method doesn’t matter, just be sure to take a few minutes and explore yourself on the inside. Your spiritual side is always there; once you become aware of it, you’ll feel its stability, guidance and gentle suggestions.

8. Your Change Support Team: The People and Things That Can Help

Those who successfully work through change create an environment that supports their evolution by surrounding themselves with supportive people. Saying three simple words—“I need help”—will produce an incredible amount of assistance. You may fear that saying those words makes you weak, but research proves that people find it easier to get through change when they’re in a positive group environment.

When going through change, it’s important, as well, to surround yourself with things that are symbols of comfort, positive memories and power. If you lose your way during the transition, these items are there to get you back on course. Any object that’s uplifting can help you get through change: It can be a teddy bear, a trinket, a card, a candle, a photo of something or someone, an inspirational quote or a lucky stone. There are no rules for the things that give you strength.

9. Get Unstuck: Actions to Move You Through Any Change

As people who embrace change have realized, another secret to navigating transitions is to get moving. Physical motion prevents you from getting stuck and allows you to progress onward. When we go through change, emotional, physical and psychic energy is swirling around us—staying still prevents that energy from circulating. When you don’t know what to do, just start moving. You can do anything—go for a walk, do the dishes, hit the gym, water the plants or organize your closets.

Movement is key during change, and so is health—it’s essential to take care of yourself during transitions. Doing so will help you move through change in an easier and calmer way. Remember the concept of S.E.E.D.: Sleep, Eat, Exercise and Drink (water that is!). Be sure to get just enough sleep (though sleeping too much isn’t helpful), eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly and drink lots of water. The S.E.E.D. will help you get through change faster by giving you the strength and vitality to move forward without getting stuck.

Now’s the perfect time to begin looking at change differently—for the first 30 days and for the rest of your life. Change is something at which you can get better—it’s a skill you can learn and a path to loving your life even more! Have a wonderful, uplifting journey!