Losing Your Job

Losing your job can be devastating, but you will find your way to the next step in your career.

It has many euphemisms: “laid off,” “downsized,” “let go.” But there’s no turn of phrase that can soften the blow when you feel more like you’ve been “fired,” “canned,” “terminated” or “axed.”

Unfortunately, job loss is a common challenge in these economically strained times: According to the U.S. Department of Labor, approximately 4.5% of the labor force—or approximately seven million people—is out of work at any given time. Since the year 2000, mega corporations and mom-and-pop businesses alike have been laying off workers, some of whom had served their employers for years. Maybe you were shocked when your boss claimed your performance was lacking or maybe you were the victim of office politics or possibly you’d heard rumblings about layoffs around the water cooler. No matter the reason for your dismissal, being fired stings.

Though you might be feeling dejected and fearful that you’ll never find another job, the first 30 days of losing your job can actually be a time of renewal and reflection. If you view this time as another life experience from which to learn and grow, this first month will set you on the path to finding your perfect job.

“Recognize that everyone who is successful has setbacks and failures,” says Lynn Joseph, Ph.D., career transition coach, consultant and author of The Job-Loss Recovery Guide: A Proven Program for Getting Back to Work—Fast. “The one trait that all successful people have is resiliency.”

Job Loss Doldrums

According to the Holmes-Rahe Scale of stressful life events, a job loss is considered the eighth most traumatic life experience one can have, preceded by divorce, serious illness or death in the family. “People go through the same stages of grieving with a job loss as if they had lost a loved one,” says Joseph, adding that the typical emotional stages stemming from job loss include shock and denial, fear and anxiety, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, which often includes forgiveness as a necessary component.

Of course, each person has a unique reaction. “Not everyone goes through every stage,” notes Joseph, “and they can come and go. If you’re 23 and don’t own a home or have children and those kinds of responsibilities, you probably won’t go through this kind of emotional trauma. The strongest predictors to stress from job loss are financial stress and attachment to your old job.”

When Lynnette Khalfani-Cox was laid off from her job as The Wall Street Journal reporter for CNBC television network, she was shocked. During her contract renegotiation, everything seemed to be a “go” and she had an impeccable track record behind her. “The first 30 days after I left were truly an emotional roller coaster, and I had enormous feelings of betrayal and letdown,” she says.

Joseph says that being aware of the emotions and working through them is crucial. “I used to be a headhunter,” she says. “When a person would come to me on an interview and would have some kind of stress, anger or other negative attitude or emotional distress, that’s cause for not referring them to an employer because they’d never get the job.”

Those emotions can be especially difficult to deal with when stable work becomes elusive. David Watson* of Marlborough, MA, went through seven jobs in the last 10 years and experienced those emotions after each job loss. “You start with a numbness, not knowing how to interpret it yet,” he says. “There’s a sadness, a bewilderment and a sense of disbelief.” David also suffered lower self-esteem and symptoms of depression as a result of his situation.

David found solace in sharing his story with others. “It’s very important to tell people about it and not hold the emotions inside,” he says. “When you start doing that, your self-esteem starts to heal.”

Though you want to get back to work as soon as possible, perhaps the most common mistake people make during the first 30 days after a job loss is starting to look for a new job too soon, explains career coach Patti Wilson, owner of CareerCompany.com. “People naturally call up their friends and say, ‘I’ve been laid off,’ and they go crazy putting their résumés together,” she says. “But they’re unprepared to do a job search.” Wilson suggests people take a few days off to gain perspective and then prepare to do an effective job search.

In addition to having a devastating personal impact, Wilson says it’s important to recognize that a job loss affects the entire family. “Children look at it this way: In a child’s mind, it’s ‘We’ve been laid off. We don’t have a job,’ ” she explains. “Get therapy, see your pastor or get other counseling for you and your family.”

All Fired Up

Though your job loss may seem like a cataclysmic event, the first 30 days can be a tremendous time of introspection and a chance to examine what direction you want to take in life. “This is an opportunity to learn from what you’ve done,” Joseph recommends. “Here’s a chance to look at where your skills and passions are and reflect on your mistakes. Ask yourself, ‘What would I want to do for the next five years that would be fun and let me use my skills, and what do I need to get there?’”

Lynnette reassessed her life and was determined to make her job loss a positive change. “In very short order, I experienced a mental revival and knew I had to bounce back,” she says. She decided she never again wanted to be subjected to the whims of corporate America. Luckily, Lynnette was able to pour her energy into finishing her first book after her layoff. She immersed herself into researching how she could get published, learning all she could about what it takes to print, package and sell a book.

Ultimately, Lynnette launched Advantage World Press, her own publishing company, and became a best-selling personal finance author. “I never once looked back,” she says. “I’m so happy about the way things worked out.”

When tumultuous emotions begin to calm, it’s essential to take care of job-search basics during the first 30 days—things like assessing your skills, updating your résumé, applying for jobs and practicing interviews. “Make the job search your job,” says Charles Wardell, managing director with Korn/Ferry International, an executive search firm in New York. Wardell also says that in doing so, you shouldn’t be embarrassed by your situation. “Most people now have seven or eight jobs or careers in their lifetime. It’s no mark to be unemployed,” he says.

Once you get started on your job search path, your next step is to find some clarity and direction. “A company will often provide outplacement services, such as retraining, career counseling, networking advice and interviewing advice,” Wilson explains. “Take advantage of it, or create your own outplacement plan. It helps, too, to hire a coach to help you envision the possibilities. Assessments and tests can help, but not unless the person has the support around them. The worst thing to do is to approach this experience in a vacuum.”

This clarity might lead to new opportunities that never seemed possible before. For Marisol Richardson of San Mateo, CA, being laid off from her position in sales turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to her. A 17-year veteran in the machinery business, she and her husband were laid off 11 days apart. In the back of her mind, she knew that what she always wanted was to start her own machinery business. “I called a couple of my customers, and they told me, ‘You really should do this on your own. I’ll buy equipment from you,’” she says.

Marisol went to her local Small Business Administration office and the local SCORE office, a non-profit association dedicated to entrepreneur education. She created her own company and the response from customers was so positive that it changed her life. “We were able to move to a bigger house, and our stress levels decreased. The other thing is that I became actively involved with my son’s school and with raising him. It’s the best of both worlds,” she says.

Whether you move in a new direction like Marisol or follow the traditional job-search route, you should identify your skill set and what you really enjoy doing; then, stress both of these in your applications and your job search. “It’s crucial to set yourself apart,” says Wardell.

The Economics of Job Loss

Aside from being a huge blow to your self-esteem, losing your job can also be a massive blow to your finances. “During one of my layoffs, I went from earning $250,000 a year to earning $10 an hour as a carpenter,” David explains. When supporting a family, this financial hit can be especially devastating.

Depending on the reason for your job loss, you may be eligible for unemployment benefits. Unemployment compensation varies by state, so do some research to find out what you’re entitled to.

Nevertheless, one of your first tasks should be adjusting your budget for the sudden drop in income so even if you can’t leave with a severance package, you won’t necessarily be in a rough financial situation. Also, investigate all income possibilities within the first 30 days, including dipping into savings or taking out a personal loan.

When Jeff Brand was a senior in high school, his dad lost his job of 25 years due to a merger. “He lost his job three months before his retirement vested,” he says. “He felt betrayed and it impacted the whole family.” When the Dallas, TX, resident was faced with his own job loss as a result of a merger, he made the decision to leave before being laid off. “I didn’t panic,” he says. “Aside from our mortgage, we were debt-free and didn’t have high car payments. We could have gone several months without a paycheck and been fine.” By getting a handle on his finances early, Jeff was able to take his time to find another job. He soon found a position as a fund manager for an investment bank.

Job Loss, Your Gain

Eventually, a job loss can result in a new and better chapter in your life. Until you reach that golden horizon, keeping the proper outlook is key. While you search, “Say to yourself, ‘If I don’t get the offer, there’s another, better opportunity waiting to be discovered by me,’ ” recommends Joseph.

After multiple layoffs, David had job hunting down to a science. He treated it as his “new job,” spending hours researching companies. He used Act! to track his contacts, calls and letters, and LinkedIn to network. His perseverance paid off, and he’s currently a worldwide director with a large tech company. “If I could give any advice, it would be this: Don’t lose your self-esteem,” he says. “You’re good at what you do. It wasn’t your fault. You’re a good person. That was very difficult for me.”

Colleen Stevenson, a 62-year-old accountant from San Francisco, learned she was being let go while lying in a hospital bed recovering from cancer surgery. After getting over the initial shock, Stevenson spoke with an attorney to see if what her employer had done was legal—and discovered it was. “I can’t describe how far down I felt the day I learned I lost my job. I was hysterical,” she says. “I thought, ‘I don’t know where to go next.’ I felt totally helpless.”

She tried the usual job search techniques, going on Craigslist and other online job sites, but she felt the competition from younger candidates was too much to handle. “Experience works for you in your 40s and maybe early 50s, but I felt that at 60, that wasn’t going to work for me,” she says. “I tested it out but knew I would have to figure out another way.”

Colleen knew that she had survived stage-four ovarian cancer twice—she was going to get through this. She sat down with her husband to examine her finances and realized she didn’t have to rush right into the job market. Although still on disability from her illness, she realized she could officially retire when her benefits ran out. This afforded Colleen the time she’d always wanted to pursue hobbies and activities. “We just finished a six-week road trip,” she says. “I taught myself how to make jewelry. I’m learning things about myself I never would have learned before.”

Though the first 30 days after a job loss can be a time of emotional upheaval, it can also be a defining moment—leading to introspection, growth and better alignment with one’s top interests, skills and passions.

* name(s) have been changed.